highs and lows...

Yesterday was the 10th...that means it's been a month since I ate potato chips!!! Do I miss them? Of course I do! LOL  But, I don't really crave them at this point like I used to. Yesterday was a struggle to get water in...and I really wanted some wine...my step-dad went in for emergency surgery (he's gonna be ok) and it was a very stressful evening. He came through surgery like a champ!  Almost 2 hours quicker than they thought it would take!  We are very grateful.
I kept to the rule though, you know, the one where if I'm not fully hydrated I don't get to have wine.

Some good news was I did lose another pound so down 11 now.  Very cool considering I haven't cut any portion sizes yet.  I didn't exercise yesterday because I ran out of time with everything going on but I've been averaging over 6400 steps a day even taking that off.

Had some more slightly bad news...they rescheduled my psych eval.  Yep, it's not the 14th anymore. The doctor has been called out of state for a family emergency. Fortunately, they were able to get me back in on the 17th so not a big wait.  I'm a little disappointed but I'm also a huge believer in things happening for a reason.  The appointment on the 14th was for 4pm...I would have had to leave work early and try to drive through traffic to an unfamiliar location...maybe it's a good thing that it got moved. Now it's on a day I have off, at 10:30 in the morning.  This zen attitude would probably not be reflected if they had moved me out a month. :)

Last night was the first time in awhile I ate to over full.  Was that associated with the stress going on or was it just my regular pattern of splurging sometimes? I don't know. I do know that I didn't have wine or any of the doritos that my daughter had hanging around so...small victories, right??  You have to have somethings you can hang onto. For me right now, it's that portion sizes will take care of themselves.  Keeping to the rules when I'm stressed will ultimately help me.  At least that's what I keep telling myself.  :)

When my mom called, crying, my heart about stopped.  It just re-enforced to me that life is too short not to do what you need to do for yourself.  I don't want to look back 10 years from now in a hospital bed saying "I really should have done something about my weight" or " I really should have retired when I said I was going to" or "I really wish we had bought the RV like we talked about".  Life if happening today.  Make your plans and DO IT! Can things go wrong? Of course.  I'm just thinking I don't want my biggest thoughts someday to be "I regret I didn't do that."    There's not time? You're right.  Time is not going to make itself happen for you. You have to put that effort in yourself.  Easy for me to say? No, not really...I have doubts, I get scared, I second guess (well, not that last one so much)...but if you don't try then you really have no one to blame but  yourself, right??  I don't like blaming myself. I'm a self love kind of girl. :)  I mean what's the worst that can happen? I lose all my money and end up drunk in a camper in Mexico?? Hey! At least I'll be skinny! ;)

Follow your dreams people! And tell your loved ones you love them.  We are only here for awhile. We need to take care of ourselves and each other.

This picture was taken a few years ago...when I only had one chin...it is still about 25-30 lb heavier than my ultimate goal.  Can we get this journey moving any faster?? ;)

Thanks for staying with me! 

~Mikki