lenses

I went to support group tonight.  At first I thought it wasn't as good as the last one, but then, on my walk I began to go over it again in my mind.  Tony (you remember the man who taught us the value of the squat?), the trainer, was leading again tonight.  He tends to run a fairly open forum and there were a lot of comments.
"I don't like to..."  "I don't have time to..." I hate..." "it's only for me, so I don't..."

Wow.  Can you feel it? The negative shift to the air?  Oppressive, isn't it? No wonder we're always tired.  How many of us think we're virtuous because we put others first?  How many of us sacrifice our health in the name of martyrdom?  We think we're being selfless...and we are...being less...less to be respected, less healthy, less whole, less happy, and ultimately less lovable.  Tony said it's a lens we look through.  If we can shift that lens to let just a prism of light come through, we can change. We can change.  We can change the way we think.  We can change the way we react.  We can change the rules we made up for ourselves.  We can change what we perceive to be success.

Success for me is not running up the mountain and raising my fists in the air for two minutes.  Even if I could possibly do that, that is a short lived victory, not success.    Success (for me) is becoming healthy enough to walk up the hill in front of me, and then...tomorrow walking up the next hill...and so forth.  Success is achieving the ability to realize that as long as I don't give up, I AM winning.  I'm only in a race with myself, so as long as I don't quit...I'm in first place.  :)  One small step at a time.

My surgery will be in October. Win!  I am averaging over 7000 steps a day. Win!  My appointment with Dr Trieu is next Wednesday (I asked to be on the asap list so maybe before!) and that means the surgery might be as early as Oct 3rd...but will probably be sometime the week of the 6th.  Can you feel it getting real?  That means in two weeks I could be starting liquid diet phase!  Holy Hanna!  That's exciting....and terrifying....

So, I challenge you.  Try being a little selfish.  Take time to make a plan for you.  You might not need to lose weight.  Maybe you just need to lower your stress, or you're looking to get healthier in general.  Make someone else wait.  You're worth waiting for.  Figure out what makes you happy and find time to do it.

I hope you take a few minutes to think about the lens you're looking through and how you can adjust it to let light in.  Remember, there is no such thing as darkness...it's only the absence of light.

Thanks for coming on my journey with me.  I hope I have helped you in some small way with yours.

~Mikki