oh yeah Baby! 10,557 steps! whoot!

Yeah!! So excited! ;)  Who knew it only took mowing ditches on top of my regular walk?  LOL

That's the good news.  The bad? I'm still waiting. I did get a call from Lori Charles of Harvard Pilgrim.  She didn't get any further with the "center of excellence" hospitals than I did.  She encouraged me to appeal the denial to Maine General and she put in a call to the appeals department letting them know I would be.  I did fax it to them, but haven't heard anything yet.

But, you know what? I think I get it.  It's a test. (Isn't everything?) I think maybe I was just a bit too sure of myself.  I was pushing through all these steps and, while it wasn't easy, it wasn't really a hardship test.  Maybe I needed to see what it's gonna be like.  Maybe I had to hit hard to know if I could keep pushing through.

When we were in the grocery store tonight my hubby said "look, Hon, they have reduced fat Pringles".  He knows I love Pringles...well, you know...I love all chips.  :) But I can't do it.  Chips would be my "slider" food.  (You know, kind of like a gateway drug) If I start again, I would just keep going. Maybe I can try them someday... on the other side....maybe.  I could have just decided to say "what the hell" and jump right back into them.  I've been pretty upset.  The idea of starting over and maybe even having to gain weight again has a knot in my stomach for sure.  But I really want to show myself that I AM ready for this.  I will only be successful if I can stick with it and really change how I think not just how I eat.

I'm usually a big picture person. I try to see what it the worst case scenario and then once I understand that I think "Ok, now what is best case scenario, and how do we go about doing THAT!"  I have a wonderful life. I have people that love me.  I have a great job and an even better dream for the future.  Worse case scenario?  I give up, keep getting even more fat plump and die of a heart attack at 52.  Ok, not pretty.  What is best case scenario?  I get to have my surgery in October, get healthy and have a long, healthy future in my RV with Jay. :)    Now, really anything better than step one is a win! ;)

How are you guys doing?  Everyone hydrated??  Have any challenges that are testing you this week?  Sometimes I guess we really do have to take a step back to move forward...at least that's what I'm hoping.  So in the meantime...I'm still moving!  Squeeze your butt!!  xo

10,000 steps!!!

Thanks for coming with me!
~Mikki