Surgiversary....

Tomorrow is September 15th.... one year since my sleeve.  How totally amazing the journey has been!

Let's go back...

Being fat plump didn't make me a bad person.  I wasn't a negative Nelly or down on myself.  I could smile and love and do many things happily.  BUT....I was scared.  I was scared I was going to get really sick.  I was scared I wouldn't be able to enjoy life.  I was scared I wouldn't be able to see the people I love grow.

Being scared sucks.  I don't like it.  I don't like knowing that I'm letting something have that much control over me.  I tried all the tricks.  I tried the diets and the pills and the drinks and gym.  Nothing much stuck for long and it certainly didn't change me in any significant way.  I needed help.  I needed a tool that was more than a calorie counter.  I needed to lose 87 lbs.  That is a lot of  butter!

Fortunately I found help.  Those of you that have been with me since the start or have read all the posts understand that it wasn't a magic switch.  My sleeve doesn't do the walking for me.  It doesn't choose my proteins.  What it does do is help me to know my limits.  It guides me to make choices that will work for me.  It tells me "stop it girl or you're gonna get sick".  I've learned a lot this year.  I have more to learn still. For instance, I got my blood work done just before we went on vacation.  It tells the truth.  It said "girl, you haven't been taking your vitamins".  "And now, you are low on B12 and B1.  What are you going to do about that?"

Well, that has made me research what B12 and B1 do....kinda serious things like you know, help with your nervous system and help regenerate the cells in your organs.  So guess what?  I've now learned that I can take my vitamins by mouth without getting sick! I don't like it, but I'd like getting into that kind of trouble a lot less.

So where am I now? (besides a little low on vitamins)
I have lost 92 lbs! That's right! I am 5 lbs below my goal.

 and that's not even the best part...the best part is how much healthier I am overall and the fact that I can now do amazing things I would have been SCARED to do before!

Parasailing has been on my bucket list for many years but there was always an excuse...because I was scared...

Not anymore!!  There it is.  When he asked me how much I weighed I didn't have to think about being embarrassed to say how much.  I didn't worry that I wouldn't fit into the straps.  I just grinned and told him 140 lbs!

My BMI is normal.  I am at a healthy weight.  It's such a simple thing to say.  But for me it was impossible for years.  I am so happy to be given these years back.  Dr. Trieu estimated at least 10 extra.

We are almost out of the honeymoon phase.  I may not continue to lose more.  This was a slow month with just over 2 lb loss.  That's ok.  When I stop losing then we'll move on to maintenance.  It's still unknown, but I don't find that scary.  Where I've already been...that was scary!  After all, I can only do things one day at a time but as time has shown, those little steps...they lead to big changes!!

Thanks for following along!
~Mikki

Almost 11 months out...

Hiya Peeps!! Just a quick line to say "Goal!!!!!!!!"

Actually I'm currently 3lbs under goal!!  It's been a long journey but here's a little before and after to remind you how worth it it's been!  Thank you all for your support! I can't begin to express how much it has helped!

There will still be the struggle with maintenance and we will have to keep working. :)  Next year will begin the tale of learning how to deal with a sleeve on the road!  Happy August everyone!!

Thanks for staying with me!
~Mikki

9 month check

Hey Peeps!

Wow, I didn't realize how long it's been since I posted! How you all doing?? :)

So Wed. was my 9 month check with Dr. Trieu.  I'm gonna talk some numbers here...I am NOT putting these here for any kind of comparison. Numbers are different for everyone and your journey will be totally different than mine and might not even be about weight loss so keep that in mind, k?

I stepped on the scale and I was 2 lbs higher than I was in the morning on my scale.  I mention this because I plan to get to goal on MY scale. :)

Anyway, I was at 150 lbs.  That means I've lost 11 lbs since I last saw Dr. Trieu.  He was pleased with this.  I was actually a little surprised.  It has been coming off so slow lately that I hadn't realized it had added up to that much!  My goal has always been 145 lbs. I'm 3 lbs away. (by my scale, see how that comes in to play?) I have lost 88.5% of my body fat. My BMI is 26%  which depending on which chart you look at is on the line between healthy/normal and overweight. I'm pretty comfortable with it.  Dr. Trieu was very pleased with it.

Let's review. When I went into the program I had a BMI of 40%.  I lost 23 lbs pre-op and was still 38% at time of surgery.  I will have some regain 2-3 years out.  It happens.  That's why I want to get to 145.  I feel good and would be ok if I come back to the 150-155 range long term.

How are other things?  Well, my blood pressure was 104/47.  The nurse actually asked me if I was dizzy or anything! ;)  Didn't have to do blood work this time but my energy is great and he is pleased with how I'm eating...yes, even the ice cream I have a couple times a week. :) a 1/4 cup or 1/2 cup a couple times he a week.  Treats are good if you keep the amount down.  And thankfully I can now be satisfied with just a little!!

The biggest blessing for me is not to be hungry all the time!  I cannot even begin to describe how wonderful that is. So what's left?  Well, 3 more pounds!!  That's 12 sticks of butter!  I don't even want to think about all the sticks I've lost in the last year! :) YUCK!

I've got a new water bottle and I'm trying to get back into the water swing...yeah, it has not been where it should be lately and I know it! How about you?  Getting hydrated?  It's all about each day, isn't it? :)  Well the day is still early! Get some water going folks!

I hope people are working on their goals. I know everyone gets busy and life gets crazy but remember to take some time for you....and have fun doing it, cause if not, what's the point?

7.5 months out...

Good morning Peeps!!

Well, here we are seven and a half months out since surgery, but really it's been a year since I started the whole process.  Hard to believe it's been that long?  Yeah, for me too...
Let's talk progress.  First a snapshot of what the year was like...

That sharp drop in September?   Yep, that was the surgery.

A year just flew by!! Where am I??  5lbs to goal people!! 5lbs!!

A total loss of 82 lbs so far... no wonder I was tired when I was fat plump!  Think about grabbing a 50 lb bag of dog food...now add a 25 lb bag...now pick up a 5 lb bag of sugar...oh! and don't forget 8 sticks of butter!!!   It's a wonder I could walk!

I've really learned that I needed more than just me.  I think I'm a pretty strong person, but when you are addicted to something you sometimes need a tool that just isn't naturally within you.  My sleeve gives me that tool.  Some people can use weight watchers or another tool...it doesn't matter as long as it works for you!  And if doesn't have to be about weight loss...just health.  Keep hydrating.  Giving up soda has improved everything.  It really is destructive.

Carbonation is really the only thing that I will not go back to at all.  I eat small amount of just about anything.  I can even eat chicken now!! whoot!  I have no desire to go back to soda.  Even if I still craved pouring the sugar into me (which I don't) the acid that crawls back up my throat would not be worth it.

We recently had the book signing for my mom's new book "Distant Cousin" by Delia Drake...it was great to be able to be at the store for a couple hours without my ankles aching and to be able to visit with everyone and not be tired.  It was a great day!

As this summer gets underway, be sure to take good care of yourself...and remember little steps lead to surprising results!

Heading to Florida in a couple of weeks...Just like last year...I will post some before and afters from last vacation to this one after...we'll seen if you notice any difference!  :)

Thanks for sharing this journey!

~Mikki 

6 months post op..the "c" word and other unmentionables...

Hey Everyone! How are you all doing?  Thought I'd check in with you all.

Today is 6 months post-op...and I'm down 75 lbs total!  :)  24 lbs pre-surgery and 51 lbs in 6 months.

12 more to go to goal.  Things have slowed down for sure.  Month "6" I lost 5 lbs...still, I'm losing not gaining, right?

This winter has been a killer for me.  An excuse I know.  But it's just not the same to exercise indoors.  I went for a walk the other day when our temps got up into the 40s... a little over two miles and I was feeling it!  Especially puffing going up the hills!  Can't wait for it to be warm enough to get back into a good groove.

One of the things I've had to learn on this journey is that there are a lot of things no one really talks about... like "c"onstipation!  Going through this process you do start to adapt.  But remember, there are so many different phases it's going to play some havoc with your body.  That liquid phase? Liquid in equals liquid out... concentrating on just getting in protein? Well, that can actually hit people differently.  Many people who do a lot of protein end up running to the bathroom without a minute to spare...for me, not so much.  TMI, right?  Well, sorry, but this is a pretty big part of the process!  And while, Dr. T looked me straight in the face and said "you know you're not normal, right?" (as if I had any doubts!) I know from reading the boards that I'm not the only one who happens to go in this direction.  So what do I mean about constipation?  Not going for a day or two? Uh, no, try for a week or two... yep.  That's what I mean.  The really good thing about it?  I can usually count on a couple pound loss at that point!! ;)

I have always been slow to go... :)  but this has reached new timing.  Have I figured out a pattern of how it works?  Or what to do?  No, not really.  Have I tried things?  Oh yeah.  I tried benefiber everyday...nothing... Miralax?  I can take that stuff for a week straight and get next to nothing.  Although, I will say the FIRST time I try these things they help...but after that not so much.  The veggies in my shake?  Yeah, that was great the first time too.  Then I adapt.  Right now, I'm doing heavy cream in my coffee instead of half n half...this is beneficial since it's lower in carbs too and for a couple days it's been good...we'll see if it lasts long.    The other problem that contributes to this is the low iron thing.  So, I'm really trying to remember my vitamin.  I'm opening the capsule and pouring it into my shake.  Works great.  But of course, iron doesn't really help the whole regularity thing.   I have had a couple times where everything comes through at once...usually after chicken...this is also accompanied by the foamies and is not a pleasant alternative!  I no longer do chicken.  Did I mention I never realized how much chicken I ate until I no longer do?

I eat quite a bit of steak now.  I'm sure part of that is my body helping to replace iron naturally.  I can do pork with no problem but it doesn't seem to appeal on quite the same level as beef.  I go through phases of wanting tuna and then not wanting anything to do with it.  It's important to point out that I am not 100% on plan.  For many people only being 6 months out, they would not want to really add any or at least many carbs, particularly ones that are less than complex.  My goal was always to be able to eat anything I want...just small amounts.  I eat french fries.  I eat potato salad.  I eat mashed potato.  Many if not most people would want to avoid those food still this early on.  I am fortunate since I was considered a "light-weight" with less than 100 lbs to lose that I can have a few bites of these this early.  Would my weight loss be faster if I did not?? Most probably.  :)  Keep in mind that is journey is going to be different for everyone and you may have a completely different experience and that's ok.

What else?  Oh, yeah the sag...don't be discouraged.  Your body has been plumped up with fat  plumpness!  Now it needs time to recover.  Keep up the exercise.  And holy cow, don't forget to moisturize!!  I'm sure the time of year doesn't help, but I have to keep the skin hydrated or I actually scratch myself to pieces!   Oh and hair loss.  Mine is finally slowing down.  It started in at about 4 months out...really falling out in the shower or when I combed my hair.  I was lucky that it was not so bad that I got bald spots or had to cut my hair to make up for the thinning but I did notice it for sure. Many people have it much worse.  I notice now that while I still lose some...I am going through menopause after all...it has slowed down again.

What can I eat at this point?  Well, I still need to measure, or I can forget.  By measure, I don't mean weigh everything, but I do check in quite often with the scale and my best tool I find is to use a dish that is small.  This isn't to "trick" my mind into thinking I'm getting more...it's to make sure I don't put too much on the plate and make myself sick.   If you eat too much, or too fast, then those foamies are awful!!  We all know I hate to throw up but when I'd rather just be able to throw up than suffer through that foam backing up in your throat you know it's not fun!  For me, gum helps with this.  I don't know if it would for most people.  In fact, they recommend you don't chew gum after the surgery because it can put air in your tummy and cause pain.  Maybe it's because I have been a life long gum chewer but for me it helps.  A half cup is about perfect for mixed foods.  I can do a little more (maybe 3/4 cup) of soups or soft food but a half is more comfy.  2.5 - 3 oz of meat is about great.  I can eat a bite or two of veggies and carb if I keep it to the 2,5 oz.  If I am eating just steak can do a little over 3 oz without discomfort.  Why does that settle best for me?  I have no idea but it does.

Do I get hungry?  Yes.  But not like before.  It takes a couple hours after I eat something now.  And I do feel full when I eat.  Do I go for long periods without getting hungry?  Yes.this is a dangerous slope.  It used to be if I went very long I would get cranky and shaky.  This doesn't happen anymore.  I fasted the other day for blood work and it was well after noon by the time it got done.  I grabbed some almonds at the store after and it was fine.  No shaking.  What I do notice is that I will tend to push too much if I haven't eaten for awhile. If you let yourself get too hungry you revert to that whole eyes bigger than your belly thing...OUCHY!  There are many reasons they want you to eat at least 3x a day without missing meals if you can.  Mostly your body just needs the fuel.  Your metabolism needs something to burn...especially if you still have weight to lose.  So pay attention to time going by and have a plan to not go too long even if you think you're doing ok.

I guess planning is one of the biggest parts of making this journey successful.  Maybe that's why we start with all the steps 6 months before the surgery.  We have to plan out all those things and it gets us used to it.  Life is so fast now days.  We don't plan out meals or anything else many times.

So the questions everyone asks?  Do I still love it? Do I regret not being able to eat all that I could want?  Would I do it again?

The answer to all?  Yes.  Yes, I love my sleeve.  Yes, sometimes I miss being able to eat more of something I like the taste of. Yes, I would do it again in a heartbeat.   I know I am healthier.  I know that I have a tool to help me stay in control.  I know I could never have done this loss without it.

If you're thinking about surgery...it is not easy.  It is a huge decision.  Know all the things that happen.  Do your research.  But as for me?  I say go for it!  The risks are less than living your life as less than you can be!    I think that's true of most things, right??

Thanks for continuing on the journey with me! 6 months people!

~Mikki

Stalls...

Hi guys!  It's a little over 5 months post-op and I'm feeling great.  Sadly I am not moving the numbers much right now, but that's ok...that means they're not moving up either. ;)

Let's talk about stalls for a minute.  I have had several since the surgery.  You know...that dreaded feeling when you step on the scale and see no movement.  It happened about 3 weeks out and several times since then.  What I notice about those times is that even though the scale doesn't reflect anything, my clothes still tend to feel different.  Things are still getting more loose and I can see my face changing. So while we may call it stalling out, really I think it's just more of our bodies adapting to change.

I've started having veggies in my morning shakes...some kale and spinach in with some strawberries. I have changed up to adding water when I do this rather than the skim milk.  I don't get quite as much protein but I just can't wrap my head around adding milk to this mix.  I have added greek yogurt a couple of times.  That brings the protein back up, BUT it also brings up the calories once you add in your protein powder.  Not in a scary way, but you can definitely see the increase.  It also tends to give more of a yogurt taste to the shake instead of just the berries.  Yeah, you don't really taste the veggies much at all.  I think because both kale and spinach are pretty mild tasting the berries just out weigh them in flavor.  Definitely an easy way to add veggies if you're not getting enough now.  And really, who is?  :)

Some off topic really great news this month...my mom's book came out on the shelves! It's a pretty big deal for us!  Kind of nice to have an author in the family! ;)  If you like to read and enjoy a good mystery with a little smatter of romance thrown in I highly recommend it!
                               www.northcountrypress.com/distant-cousin.

I know, shameless plug, right?  But hey, we need to exercise our minds as well as our bodies so while you're walking on the treadmill or riding the train to work it will add to your day!

I'm re-reading it (again!) while I wait for this other 17 lbs to fall off me! :)   I'm still waiting for spring! How about you?  I hear even my friends in Florida are shivering a little this week! I'm not sure why I never plan a vacation this time of year! So silly!  I should be somewhere warm and sunny right now!  Alas, I have to wait until the end of May to head to Florida.

The other exciting trip we have planned is for September! We'll be heading to Southern Baja for my son's 30th birthday celebration! (I really can't believe he's gonna be 30!!)  Those of you that know me well know that our plan is to full time RV in retirement after next year.  Southern Baja is one of the places I really wanted to spend some time so this will give us an idea if it's worth braving the border crossing to go down there some day in our RV!  Cabos looks gorgeous and I really, really hope it's a wonderful trip for my son.  Now I just need to get that other 17 lbs off so I will look good in my bathing suit!! ;)

Don't let the cold keep you from hydrating peeps! We all know how important this is, not just for weight loss but overall health.  Big props to my cousin for giving up her diet soda this week!  Hope it's still going well! Soda is a tough one, but well worth the rewards of giving it up!

I~ again this past week~ had someone ask me if I regret not being able to eat more... 5 months out?? NOPE! Still loving my sleeve!!  Happy Saturday everyone!  Thanks for sharing my journey!

~Mikki

waiting for spring...

Good morning people!! How are you all doing??

We have snow up to our...ears... and it does not make me want to exercise!  Can't wait for warm weather!!

Let's catch up! How is everyone doing?  Getting your water in? Moving at all or stuck on the couch having winter blues?

I'm somewhere in the middle.  I have 20 lbs left to hit the "big" goal.  You know, the one that leaves me a window to gain some back eventually. These will be the hardest I'm sure.  We went to Boston at the end of January for the dental convention and I got some great walking in. Over 13000 steps each day.  It felt really good to get out but oh so cold!!

Went to see my NUT on Wednesday.  She was pleased with my progress. I am hitting my protein consistently with no problem. Water is always a challenge but we just keep plugging away, right?

She is encouraging me to get more veggies...since my capacity for food is still really good...so how do I eat more?  She is recommending I put them in my morning protein shake.  Hmmmm... not sure that I'm excited about this...but I'm gonna give it a try.  I'll let you know what kind of results I get.

One very exciting thing? I moved down to the skinny bracelet that came with my fitbit!  How cool is that, right? :)  I am now moderately overweight...which is tremendously superior to morbidly obese.  Found a yummy new bariatric snack "tasty bites" pizza flavored! They are a good size bag that is 140 calories and 10g of protein! Those are some good numbers!  I've also ordered something called "carbquik".  It's like bisquik, but has 90% less carbs.  We'll see if it's gross or not.  LOL

Elizabeth (NUT) also said my calorie intake is somewhat low.  I'm still averaging between 600-700 a day.  She wasn't too concerned but mentioned if I go into a stall and stop losing that I might need to kick my calories up a little to make sure my metabolism has enough fuel to work properly.  Obviously, on the days I have a glass of wine calories are not an issue!! ;)

I have a friend that I want to give a shout out to that has her surgery on Monday!  Good luck Lady!! I know you will do great! So proud of you for getting this far!  (She has already lost 25 lbs in her preparation for surgery!)  I know not all of you that read this blog need or want to have surgery, but for those of you considering it remember that those months of prep really, really help you to be successful!

Did I mention I got a new swimsuit?  Love it! ;)  Just 20 more pounds to go! Hang with me people...then we will enter the scary "maintenance" phase~ YIKES!

Have a great weekend everyone! Squeeze your butt!

~Mikki

4 months post surgery...

Good morning all! Just a quick update to catch up.  4 months out today and down a total of 65 lbs for the journey. ;)  I am no longer obese!! Simply overweight now! 22 more lbs to go!

I'm feeling great for the most part!  Trying to work with the weights to help with any sag. My skin is really dry but I think that has more to do with the cold air than the loss.  Biggest challenge these days? Remembering my vitamin. I'm currently on a roll of taking it two days in a row! ;)

I'm better at the calcium because I just take two tums before bed.  Water content is better...up to about 48 oz consistently for the day...and protein is usually close to the 60g.

For those that don't know me...here's a picture of last Christmas to this Christmas...you can judge for yourselves how the journey is going.

I'm still loving my sleeve.  If you are thinking about it I recommend finding a really good program and following it from the start.
For those of you just looking to be a bit healthier, remember small steps! You can keep them going and it's not a race! Being consistent is much more important than being perfect!  I make mistakes all the time but the next choice just needs to be better. Hang in there!  Keep drinking! (water! lol)
And thanks for sharing my journey!

~Mikki

3.5 months out...

Hey guys...thought I'd catch up.

Interesting times.  Today I reached a goal.  Not a goal I set with the surgery.  This was a goal I set back when.  Back when I thought I didn't have any other way. Back when I thought that today's weight would (maybe if I was lucky) be the lowest I could ever hope to see again at my age.  Of course when I set that goal...many years ago... I weighed a significant amount LESS than I weighed when I started this journey.  62 pounds lost today.  And you know what?  I still have 25 more to go...and I believe it can happen!  I think that may be one of the best things about my sleeve.  It's given me hope back that I can achieve a healthy weight.   After all, I'm technically still obese...and this was the best I could hope for?  Silly me.

Other things...life does teach one not to get too cocky... I tried some ginger ale yesterday.  You know, gotta push those boundaries to see what still applies...  it seemed to go fine...until about 1 am when it decided to return as pure acid that creeped back up my throat...oh I believe them now...NO SODA!  Didn't need it any way but I get it! Thanks!

My face is starting to get the drawn look just a bit...but no worries it will shift around and fill back in...see the above adjective if there is any doubt in the need to continue to lose.  I was pretty excited to get into new pants that are 5 sizes smaller than I started...not gonna lie :)

I don't really have a size goal...where ever I end up when I hit the weight goal will have to do... I have been extremely lazy with the holidays here...need to get moving again.  Would love to think that it will stay warm but this is Maine so I won't hold onto that dream...

How is everyone doing?  No great and awesome resolves about weight or exercise for me...it's just to keep taking small steps and continue to drink water...after all, it's working! ;)

Happy Holidays everyone! Thanks for coming along.

~Mikki

so maybe I will brag a little.... :)

Just a quick note to tell you guys how my 3 month post-op visit went....yeah... I rocked it! Whoot!

Dr. Trieu told me I was awesome!  I've lost 53% of my excess body fat...that's what he usually sees by 6 months out (maybe)!!  For 3 months out...well, let's just say I put a pretty good smile on his face!!  :)

He did yell at me about not taking any calcium so I'm back to the tums, but I don't have to take the Omeprazole any more unless I develop heartburn, started a new vitamin too that I don't have to chew but has iron(cause that's the only thing that came back a little low) ... and my next 3 month blood draw he's only asking for half the stuff because my cholesterol and blood sugar is great.

Just gotta say it! I love my sleeve!

Thanks for checking in! :)

~Mikki

so close...

Good morning guys and gals!  How have you been?  Keeping hydrated?  How has the winter effected your movements?  Still going? Give yourselves a pat on the back!  A bit stalled? Yeah, me too...but it's what we do next that matters!

My hubby bought me a wii.  "Didn't you already have a wii?" you ask me.  Yes, Yes we did but the baby took it with her to college so Jay found one on ebay and now I'll be able to hook up the wii fit again...I haven't used it in years...wish me luck!

So, the title?  I am soooo close!  Close to being 3 months out...and only 1 (ONE!) bmi point away from leaving obesity.   I will only be overweight!! Holy Hallelujah!!  

We had our office end of year celebration dinner last night.  It was a wonderful restaurant and we had a sit down 5 course meal. You may think this was awful, but it was really wonderful!  First the most important thing...I haven't been on here to tell you...but wine goes down fine!  I know everyone was waiting to find that out! ;)
So I had about a glass and a half prior to the meal.  What did I order?
I had a stuffed mushroom...yeah...I had one and Jay ate one and they boxed the rest
I skipped the salad
I had prime rib (medium rare) with roasted potatoes and it came with squash and carrots...I had a little over 2ounces of prime rib and 1 chunk of the potato and a couple small bites of squash.
Dessert? I chose the apple turnover with cream... I had 2-3 small bites... I was a little too full but not too bad. Certainly not "the stuck" feeling I get from chicken.
I have the whole meal again boxed up for today! :)

The really best part? When I stepped on the scale this morning...I'm down 2.5 lbs!! That's not over night, it had been a couple of days since I weighed, but still I'm pretty happy!

I love my sleeve! Have I mentioned this before?  OH, and scrolling through pictures that people posted from last night? I noticed myself standing in the background of one and thought "wow, I look like me"... you know...the one I talked about seeing in my head?  Yeah, that one.

I know that at least a couple of you have thought about this surgery...one of you I know is scheduled and I am super excited for you!...I would never recommend to someone that they need surgery...only you and a doctor can come to that decision...but honestly, I can say I am so happy that I did this for me.  I know a lot of people don't want to tell anyone how they lost weight...I can't wait to share it with people...funny isn't it? How different everyone is.   Here we are 3 months out...remember how scary it was doing the research?  Every thing worth while has some risk to it either emotionally or physically...that's why it's important to us.  Keep taking those small steps people! WE ARE WINNING!! ;)

Thanks for staying with me!  xoxo
~Mikki

NSV...oh...and some scale stuff too...

Hey Guys!  I hope everyone is doing great!  It's almost the end of November! How crazy is that??  I can't believe I started this whole journey back in April...this year has flown by!

This week I want to look at something sleevers call NSV (non scale victories).  I know I have mentioned some of these along the way...being able to breath easier...able to bend over and tie my shoes without passing out...those kind of things...but...

I reached a milestone today...that's right...I finally hit 50lbs lost!  I know, your thinking "you just said non scale" but that made me think about the things that are better...

I bought a new belt...and it's only got one hole left to go already...
I bought new pants...and while they do fit, they are already getting roomier....
when I went to the hot tub I realized my swimsuit is huge on me....
I wore heels to work again!!
Also,  I bought a new bra for $14.99!!!!  Now some of you may not know how exciting that is, but let me tell you...for us bigger girls that's a freakin deal right there!!!

I've lost 6 inches off my waist and 6 inches off my hips.
My husband says he can actually put his arm around me when we're walking now.
My daughter's friend said she hardly recognized me!
I can fit into my leather coat again.
but...
by far...
the most awesome NSV came Sunday morning...
When a lady that has been following my progress messaged me to say she got her approval letter from the insurance company and she will be having her surgery the middle of January!!! How amazing is that?

I am so grateful for all the supportive people in my life that have helped me and motivated me along the way.  I am grateful to my bosses for providing insurance (especially since a bill came in today and the pharmacy billed them $27,689.50). Yeah, that was just labeled pharmacy!  I am grateful to my mom and dad for encouraging me to do this and believing I could. I am grateful to my husband and children who have never doubted me.

I am very aware that many people have to try and do this on their own.  I hope this blog can offer them a bit of sunshine along the way to show them all the rewards that come with the work.  50lbs!  In 7 months I have lost a good size child.  Only 37 more lbs to goal.  I love to think I can do that by my trip to Florida in May...we'll see... one step at a time, right??

thanks for sticking with me!

~Mikki

2 months...

Hey all! Believe it or not it's been 2 months! Here is where I need you to help remind me that I'm gonna be happy with where I am...

Lost 8lbs this month.  That makes 25 lbs since surgery.  That makes 48 lb since the end of April.  As my husband mentioned...that's almost 2 twenty-five pound bags of dog food that I've lost!

Do I still hesitate when someone says "how much have you lost now?"  Yes, sadly I do.  It doesn't seem like it goes down that quickly now...wait...who am I kidding?  I have lost 48lbs in 6.5 months. Yeah!!
I have lost 25 lbs in two months!
I have lost 8 lbs in the last month!
If I lost 8 lbs for the next 6 months I would lose another 48 lbs!!  I only have 39 lbs left to lose!!!

I refuse to believe that I'm not doing a good enough job.  I am feeling and looking better.  I am not gaining weight.  I am getting healthy.  I am looking at food differently:

 Can you see that little square missing?? Yeah, that was my dinner...and you know what?  I am full!! FULL!!  WHOOOHOOO!!! Full! On that little bit!  I love my sleeve!

Tony (the trainer) accused me of being too hard on myself...I promised at the beginning of this that I would keep it real.

I've started a check list to keep track of the various things I need to do now...protein, water, vitamin, and different exercises...it's good to see the pattern of so many days per week. One of the biggest things we need to succeed is to vary what we do.  Visuals are really helpful.  How do you keep track?  Are you just guestimating?  Try writing it down for a few weeks and see how it comes out.  It may make you feel better to realize where you are at....or it might make you realize you're full of ...excuses....

It's just little steps. Nothing needs to be crazy... we're trying to get healthy, not drive ourselves crazy. Keep on keeping on people!  And thanks for staying with me!

~Mikki

A Sunday edition...

Good morning Peeps! I hope everyone is safe and warm.  As I watch the snow come down outside I realize it's been awhile since I posted.

It's a little over a month and a half since surgery...time does fly, doesn't it?  So where am I?

Well, I've lost 22lbs since surgery and 46lbs in total.  How is the process going? That is day to day.  Last night I got the foamies.  I'd read about them, but never had them before.  I really would rather not have them again.  The "foamies" are when you eat too fast or don't chew small enough.  It causes that "stuck" feeling that is quite painful and by painful, I mean I actually tried to throw up...you all know how I feel about that.  What actually comes up is a white foamy mess.  Fortunately, because we're talking such small amounts of food it doesn't take too much to relieve the pressure but it was not a fun 15 minutes or so.

Goals! *remember to weigh all food.  *remember to chew slowly and completely.

I actually did weigh out the 2.5 oz of pot roast so I'm thinking it was just too fast.  I've got to remember that even though things feel great, it hasn't been that long since I had pretty significant surgery.

But enough of the yucky... I know you're waiting to hear about the trip to the trainer, right?  :)

Well, Thursday wasn't spectacular morning.  I was up most of the night.  Losing this weight this quickly causes a major hormone shift...you do have some issues with bowel and menstrual cycles being kind of crazy...just a fyi...but I checked and found out it would be into January if I rescheduled with Tony so I ended up going to the appointment.

He was, of course, very nice.  We talked a lot about goals and what I'm hoping to achieve.  He was pleased that my biggest goal going into the surgery was health.  He said many people go into it for aesthetics only and that limits their participation and long term success.   He showed me form and we went through a few exercises.  He gave me some homework...

All of the exercises he's teaching me can be done once we're on the road with very little equipment.  He's also teaching me how to add to them as I go...because...there is really no such thing as just toning...you are either building muscle or destroying it.  Did you know that?  Our bodies would much rather eat muscle...so any that they think we are not going to be using they start to break down.  They won't go into our "rainy day fat storage" until we show them that we need to use all the muscle we have.  It's why we need to focus on changing up our workouts and not getting stuck doing one thing.  Have you even noticed how lean runners can be?  Running is great exercise, but if all you do is run then your body will break down the muscles that you don't need to do that.  So the rule for me is to rotate these exercises - don't do them all the same day- and once I get so I can do them with ease, I need to change them up to make it more difficult. Either add more reps or more resistance.

He gave me this new resistance band and it can be used with a door nob, another person or a tree...basically anywhere.  He's worked with me a lot on breaking old habits.  The way we sit down or stand up...the way we tilt our pelvis or lift our knees...how we hold our shoulders when we pull or push...

He also has this machine that weighs lean mass...Because our body likes to break down muscle first, he wants to keep track of how much of that I'm losing vs fat.  I have about (it's not perfect) 102 lbs of lean tissue.  That means I still have wayyyyy too much non lean stuff going on!  But, now that he knows that, he can measure when I go in to see if my exercise has helped save the muscle and focused on just getting rid of the fat  plump. ;)

So much to learn, right?  I go back and see him on the 12th.  We'll see how far I've got in a couple of weeks.  Always something new ;)

That's what's going on folks. I hope you're hydrated and getting your protein.  Do not let one thing fade because you pick up something else.  It's all important, right?

Thanks for staying with me!
~Mikki

hmmmm....should have kept my mouth shut...

Hello everyone!  I promised I'd let you know how the Nut visit went.  Well it went great!! Really great!

She is not worried about my liquid intake...just wants me to focus on the protein and getting my vitamin in.  She was super impressed with the progress I've made.  In fact when we were talking about goals and everything I mentioned that I was looking forward to trying some wine in a couple months...she said "well, you're doing well enough to try that I think"... :-)...

...I said "really? At only about 5 weeks out?"  and she said "OMG!  You're doing so great, I was thinking you were 3 months out!"  "No, you should definitely wait to try that."     ahhhhhhh!!! So close!!  ;)

The good news is I can start bringing in more veggies and fruit.  She even said I could try lettuce and spinach...so I can try out a yummy chopped salad from Subway soon! :)

I don't see her again until the end of January...she will stay with me until I hit goal though so we'll see how long that takes.  Next week I get to have a session with the trainer...eek!  I hope I can manage to do as well in that...a bit worried there though! LOL

I hope all is good with you!  Are you drinking your water?  Are you moving?  Are you happy?  Are you having wine?  (Inquiring minds want to know!)  Have a glass for me!!

:)
Thanks for staying with me!
~Mikki

-17 lbs first month...

Hello Peeps!  So I'm more than a month out now...down more than 42 lbs overall.  :)  Can't really complain about that!

So, how are things going? Well, let's start off with some things that I'm happy about...first, I can chew gum.  I know I wasn't supposed to...(I'm such a rebel)...but when I asked why it was about air in the stomach so I took a chance... no problem. :)  Second, I can drink through a straw...(again that rebel thing)...and thank goodness for that cause those protein shakes are getting hard to get down.  I tried this out of a bit of desperation and have to say it helps  a LOT!

People at work are telling me that they can really start to see a difference now, of course they all know what I've gone through so they might just be being nice LOL, but today a rep came in that I haven't seen for about a year...she asked me what I'd done to my hair...I said nothing...she said well, there's really something different about your face!  I said yeah, I've lost 40lbs!  She was like OMG! I guess that would do it! HAHA!  She started to say how that was great and asked me what I was doing...I told her I'd had surgery...it was amazing to me how uncomfortable this made her...she wasn't sure what to say so she just said "well, I'm sure you must be feeling great" which was really an excellent thing to say, because, yes. Yes, I am.

So what you might ask is not going great?  Well, I have noticed a pattern,,, on the days that I get all my protein in, I don't seem to be able to hit my goal for water...on the days I get on my water in? Yeah, I don't hit my protein goal...odd but true.  I'm trying to at least alternate them somewhat so I don't go too long without either but I know I need to get better.  The real issue is to get in the protein I need to have a shake.  When I have a shake I don't feel like drinking.  I just can't eat enough yet to get my protein in without that supplement.   But hey, there are worse things.  It will come.

I've been trying out different things.  One of them is the fresh jerky my husband bought me...that' pretty tasty...and the other is pork rinds...

Now, you ask why pork rinds?  Well it turns out that these little snackers are about all protein...they only problem with them is that I know they are all protein because I know what they are made of...it really does not do the appetite a good turn.  Now, they are not terrible...and I have to say the salt and vinegar ones are superior to the plain ones...but they are not chips.  Can I say that again?  They are not chips.

They do help out a bit when a craving hits though...and since I can only eat like 3 I can usually do that without thinking too hard about what they are made of.

Wednesday I go to my first post op nutrition visit!  It will be interesting to see what Elizabeth has to say about how I'm doing.

I am almost half way to goal! That's exciting!  Only two more months until I can have a glass of wine.  That's pretty exciting too!!  I'm not really having any issues with reflux...never really did so I'm not surprised...I do take the RX Dr. Trieu gave me for it because I don't want acid to effect the healing.  I have a harder time remembering the vitamin...ugh!

I can see walking is going to start to be a challenge...I just about froze my fingers off tonight...guess I will have to start using the gazelle now that it's getting cold.   I'm still loving my fitbit because it gives me direction about where I am in the day for activity.

I really don't have any complaints about my surgery.  Everything is healing well that I can see and feel.  I still can't eat much chicken...like half of what I can eat of anything else or it hurts...that just might be off the table for me for awhile...but all other meats seem to go great.  I can do about 1.5 - 2 ounces of beef or pork pretty comfortably.  I tried some rice pudding and have to say that could be very dangerous...I only had about 3 ounces for a serving, but it lies very comfy and gives not issues...except of course it's calories! :)  It is nice to know that there are still treats I can have though.

I know many people believe you have to be completely true and strict until you get to the maintenance stage (and that is wonderful for them)...well, I didn't have this done with that in mind.  It wasn't what I ate that made me fat...don't get me wrong, it didn't help...but it was the AMOUNT I ate that made me fat.  Am I still staying away from pasta and bread? Yes...am I still avoiding chips?  Sadly, Yes.  But, I still plan to have a glass of wine (once I can) and a 1/2 cup of ice cream at some point.   I just have to really learn to get my protein in first so that my body has the appropriate fuel to create muscle so it can burn said treats.   It's all coming together slowly. :)  I'll let you know how Wednesday goes.

Keep hydrating people...just cause it's cooler doesn't mean your body doesn't need it still.  And keep moving...even if you can't get outside, spend some time doing an activity inside.  All movement is good! Remember! Small steps!

Thanks for staying with me!
~Mikki

re-learning how to eat...

Hi Guys!

I'm sorry, I know I haven't been keeping up very well.  I'll try to be better!  So, I'm 3- almost 4 weeks post op now.  What's going on?

Well, this was a tough week.  Healing is really going on which means that nerve endings are starting to repair...that means?? I'm starting to feel things I didn't before.  Yeah, every time I get a little cocky thinking I've got this down, reality comes along to remind me to be humble.  Let's see...I know I told you the weight was stalled...part of that was probably constipation...too much info? Well, sadly in this world it seems to be a big deal.  I took some miralax and started adding benefiber to my shakes.  I was doing ok until Tuesday morning.  I don't know what happened. I was minding my own business at work when...BAM! I started having awful cramps...headed to the bathroom...had to throw up which we all know I do NOT like...and was stuck on the toilette for awhile...came home from work early and headed right back into the bathroom...alternated between there and the bedroom for a couple days.  The good news?  Oh, the scale started moving again! :) I've lost 15lbs since surgery and 39 lbs since April.  I really don't know if it was a touch of the flu or just things adjusting to their new layout.  By Friday I was feeling much better.

So, how is the eating going?  That's a tough question to answer.  It really depends on what I'm eating, how much I can eat.  Isn't that weird?  It's kind of scary too because right now it's hard to know and I've made myself miserable a few times.  As close as I can tell, chicken is a bit evil for me.  It goes down easy and feels like it's doing well but then all of a sudden about 20 minutes later it makes my belly hurt.  Bison (chili), hamburger(shepherd's pie), and turkey sausage (with egg) seem to be much more reasonable at this point.  I can usually eat about 3-4 oz of food at a sitting.  But if I try that with chicken I am completely miserable.  Two oz is about max and even then I'm not sure if it's gonna go down comfy.

OMG! I finally found out what it feels like to forget to eat!  Can you believe it?  Last Saturday I had half an egg and half a turkey sausage link for breakfast...then I did some stuff...Jay came home from work and we went for a walk...at some point I felt kind of peckish and looked at the clock...3:30pm!!  I hadn't remembered to eat anything else since breakfast!!  I've read about this but never...NEVER!... expected it to happen to me! It's actually not a good thing right now while I'm trying to get all my protein in, but wow! Totally crazy experience not to feel hungry!!

I love my sleeve!! I love my sleeve!!

I've gone down a pant size.  It's not perfect yet, but looks much better than the bagging of the old size.   I have been told the weight loss is really getting noticeable now.   My hubby tells me daily that he is proud of me...which is wonderful to hear of course...I came home yesterday to a package he sent me.  It had some lovely expensive perfume and a few other treats in it...I asked what it was for and he said that I was looking so good I needed a treat! ;)  Guess he has still decided to spoil me, it's just not with food any more. ;)

I haven't been shopping yet...I'm just digging things out of my closet that I haven't been able to wear in awhile...and by awhile I mean a couple of years.  I can wear my mother's ring again!!  I'm going to need my other rings re-sized at some point, but I'll wait til I get closer to goal.  I am 4 lbs away from being half way to goal.  I like to break it down...that sounds much easier than saying I still have 48 lbs to lose! ;)

It actually is starting to feel like a real possibility though. When you think about needing to lose a large quantity of weight...almost 90 lbs for me...and I'm considered a "lightweight" in the WLS world...it seems so overwhelming that it's easy to see why people just give up.  I am so thankful that I found the program I did.  That they helped me to start dealing with with food in real ways months before I went through the surgery.  Just think! I'm not quite even a month out and I'm almost half way to goal!  When people say "don't you think you could have done this  yourself?"  NO.  I know now that I could not have.  I would never have thought of food as a fuel source.  I would never have stopped being hungry after only a few ounces of food.  I would never have been able to break it down and understand that the fat was ruling me.  Does this have it's challenges?  YES.  I have no idea what is going on with my menstrual cycle.,,it changes it's mind daily as the hormones are released from the fat loss...my stomach actually has hurt...really hurt a couple times this week...I am tired a lot more...I need to make sure I build in time for exercise every day...I will never again eat a giant plateful of my favorite food...
But, think of it this way... I will never again be able to eat a giant plateful of my favorite food.  :)

Thanks for sticking with me!

~Mikki

2 week post op....

Can you say puree baby?? Yep, we're at stage 3.

Went to my follow up doctor appointment and everything is great!  They have me down 19 lbs since the 3rd of the month (when I went on fluids). I'll take it!

I made a ricotta bake for my first mushy food...yummmy!! I can eat about 2 ounces of it.  LOL  That's right...it makes me soooooo full!  Even Dr Trieu was amazed the restriction was working that well so soon. ;)   My incisions are healing nicely...no more bandages or packing gauze...AND I can exercise to whatever my comfort level is...well, hopefully beyond my comfort level to get some changes going on.  ;)

Yes, that is a regular teaspoon you see in that cup. And that is as much as I can eat at one time. :)

I haven't seen a big drop this week in weight, BUT I have noticed some changes in measurements...as in I lost a half inch off my neck...I literally lost a chin!  I also lost 1.5 inches off my waist!! whoot!  I'm averaging between 375 and 450 a day for calories...but you ask, how is the protein and water going?  Well, protein is not too bad...I'm getting between 50 and 60g a day...however, water is still a struggle...I was explaining it today...you see I used to be hungry all the time...I'd be hungry and I'd tell myself...drink some water.  I was getting in over 100 oz easy...but now...I have no hunger...or at least not very often.  I have nothing to prompt me...I have to REMEMBER to drink! ugh!  So I've only been averaging about 64 oz.  That's not terrible, but it's not great either.  Another goal to work on.

Jay has been keeping me company the last couple nights on my walks and that is much more fun.  I can tell I'm not as hydrated because I'm not in a rush to get to the bathroom half way through!! ;p

I just started taking some vitamins...we'll see how that goes...so two to four weeks of mushy foods or until I can get at least half of my protein in from solids.  It will be a process given I can only eat such a small amount...but Dr. Trieu told me today if I need to do 5 or 6 small meals to do it he would much rather I do that then push the sleeve so we'll see!

How are you all doing?? Getting your water? How about some exercise?  It's starting to get colder, is that effecting your exercise?? How about the dark? I'm not liking that!!  Hoping that your week goes well!

Thanks for staying with me!

~Mikki

A week out...

Soooo....it's been a week since surgery and where am I?  Well, I'm down 11 lbs in that much time so that's great.,..that means I've lost 35 lbs since starting this!  People are starting to say they can see the difference in my face. :)  What? No more play-do face?   The hubby says he can feel the difference in the boobs and ass...and let's face it that will help my health even more than my face!

So down side?  Well, as I mentioned on Friday it has been really hard getting 60 g of protein and a minimum of 64 oz of water in.  Sunday was the first day I made those numbers and of course it caught up with me.  Sunday was my worst day.  Coming home from the hospital I was rolling along on the IVs that they pumped into me. I felt great for days.  Sunday...I just felt beat.  I was cold and tired.  I really pushed through trying to get all those fluids in.

Monday I had work for a half day.  I was still tired when I got up.  I thought I might pass out in the shower.  I had Jay come and get me after work because I didn't want to drive.  I came home and went to bed.  Got up around 5pm and felt soooo much better!  What changed?  I had the liquid and protein in me.  That's it.  I always drink better at work, as we know, and I figured out getting the half scoop of protein powder in the soups often enough... plus...I got to see the grandbabies...that always makes me feel better! ;)

I'm glad I had today off.  It let me get a good walk in (back up to 3 miles!) and get lots of rest!  Plus got to see the short people again! :)  Now if I can just keep this going through the next 3 work days all will be good! :)

Do I have any regrets?  Jay has asked me a couple times if I do.  No,  I don't.  I can eat about 3 ounces at a time.  Does food sound good? Yes.  Does food smell good? Yes.  Do I have an uncontrollable need to eat? NO.  After I have my 3 ounces. I am full.  Sooo full.  I'm pretty sure that I will eventually be able to eat almost anything and I will still only be able to eat a few bites.  I will enjoy those bites but I will then be full.  Can I get a hallelujah??  No, I don't have any regrets. :)
This is exactly what I wanted.

Thanks for staying with me...6 more days of liquids!

~Mikki

simply amazed

Hi guys.  I just ate breakfast.  Yep, all 2.5 oz of it.  HOLLA!!  You know that worry about not getting to drink right away?  Well, I know my meal was liquid, but I really could not drink another drop for at least a half hour! Holy Hanna!

Ok, for those of you who haven't been with me the whole time lets go back a bit....Monday, they took me back and had me change out of everything into one of their little gowns.  I got the sexy stockings and an IV.  They took blood, gave me a shot in my stomach, half a pill of Dramamine (that was gross) met the anesthesiologist and they let my family come back to see me for a bit.  Dr. Trieu came in and met the family.  He seemed all pumped to go.  They took my vitals for the first of a million times and got me one of those sweet blue hats to wear.  They gave me something that they said could just relax me or knock me out and wheeled me off...well, I must be a cheap date because about all I remember is rounding the corner,,

The next memory I have is of throwing up.  Of course there wasn't much, but I was going through the motions.  There were doctors and nurses around and finally they got me a med that helped hold back the nausea.  It took awhile I guess but I got there.  I don't remember much pain other than when I threw up.  I had a morphine drip that I could click but the nurses all commented that I didn't use it much.  Monday night into Tuesday morning the nausea came back...I thought it was because I wasn't keeping up with the pain so I tried clicking the morphine more...in hindsight, I think the morphine might have made the nausea worse.  The nurses were all very sweet to me and my only frustration was the foley catheter...it made me feel like I had to pee all the time!  Ok, so Tuesday morning the good news? that darn catheter came out!  The bad news? yeah dry heaving some more...more nausea meds to help with that.  Still not allowed to drink.

I think it was about 8am when then took me down for the sleeve x-ray.  I'd been walking some but they wheeled me down.  The x-ray machine was set up so I could just stand in front of it and see the computer screen as the image was taken. I took a sip of the liquid concoction they need to see go through...guess what??  yeah...that was not staying down..I actually heard the doctors watching the screen say "yeah, that's coming back up" while I was busy asking for a bucket.  Fortunately, they were able to get enough motion (up and down, I guess) that with the additional still shots they took Dr. Trieu was able to get a good look and he said the sleeve looked perfect!

Now, I could finally sip water...of course, when I did...yep, came right back up...but it got better.  They brought me broth and jello...the broth was good...jello was gross...I had broth and decaf tea for the rest of my meals.  They also were giving me antacid meds in my IV...you really don't want to lay down or it feels like a ton of acid hitting your stomach.  I got heparin through Wednesday as well,  The compression sleeves came off on Tuesday but the socks stayed on until my shower on Wednesday.  They put big pieces of plastic over my IV and my belly button to shower.. Dr. Trieu told me that he had put some gauze in there there would need to be repacked each time I change the bandage.  I think the nurse and I were expecting a much bigger piece but it was just a little thing. :)

I stopped throwing up by Wed morning and Dr. Trieu said that was very normal with a sleeve and he had expected it to be gone about 48 hours out.  So just like that!  I got the ok to go home!  ;)

Truthfully, Tuesday and Wednesday were mostly sleeping days.  I tried to walk some but I was really tired.  Thursday was a nice day.  I wanted to go for a ride in the sun...and I need to walk but be able to sit often...the best place?  The casino of course!! ;)  I even won $100!  I walked about a mile spending the afternoon there.  Got water to drink the whole time.  It's so weird not to think about food the whole time I was there.

Got home and made some protein soup and protein pudding.  Ate about 2.5 oz of soup and maybe 1 oz of pudding,..trying hard not to push the limits but it's very hard to adjust to how little I really need....and be FULL.

So maybe you noticed the one thing missing on Monday??  No one (that I saw) weighed me.  Of course I stepped on the scale before I left so I had a pre-surgery weight in my head.  Wednesday night I decided to step on our scale to see how much surgery weight I had gained...I mean they were pumping stuff into me for days...the fluid weight alone has got to be bad, right?  So I prepared myself for a gain......nope......I had lost a pound.  WOW.  So Thursday morning I stepped on again... I had lost another 1.5 lbs...as of this morning?  I've lost 6 lbs since Monday...that's right 29 lbs total since April!

It kind of floors me!  I know it happens fast but 6 lbs in 4 days! wow!  I could be in Onederland by this weekend!!  How amazing is that?? I could have dieted for months and not got here.  I have! LOL
I have not taken any pain med since I left the hospital...for one thing I got a taste of a liquid dose on Wednesday and let me tell you for as expensive as it is, they do not waste anything on taste!!
Jay bought me a great reading pillow that I sleep on to keep elevated and haven't had heartburn too bad...I will start those meds in a week or so.  9 days until my post op visit and I get cleared for pureed foods... I will say the only thing I've been craving is meat.  They said my blood work shows my iron level a little low so I guess that isn't a surprise.  I'll start vitamins at two weeks out too.

Water...this battle is starting over.  I got about 35oz in yesterday.  It's hard to get as much in when you need to drink slower.  BUT I will keep chipping away at it.  Gotta go walk....cause you know...little steps lead to big changes!!

Thanks for staying with me!

~ Mikki
.