you are what you eat...

Hi Guys and Gals!  Sorry, I know it's been a little bit since I posted.

Let's catch up!  Ok, so had my last dietitian appointment last Thursday...the conversation was all about how to avoid the side effects...

I don't vomit well.  Actually, that's an understatement.  I will suffer for hours rather than vomit, I hate it that much.  You know that I really loved my children since I vomited violently for 7 months with the first pregnancy and still had two more. ( I actually lost about 30 lbs during that pregnancy.)

Anyhoo, I'm really looking to avoid side effects.  So I will pay attention.  I will eat slowly.  I will chew at least 20 times before swallowing. I will NOT drink for 30 minutes after I eat.  These will be words to live by.

Monday was the last support group I needed to attend for insurance.  It was great! There were 7 people there that had been sleeved.  Tony (you remember the trainer?) was leading the group but basically let us spend the whole hour just asking them questions.  Did I mention it was great?  The lady sitting behind me, had her sleeve done on June 30th... less than a month ago...she's lost 38 lbs!!  One of the guys was 13 months out and he had lost over 100 lbs.  One of the other guys had his sleeve done the beginning of February and ran his first 5k the middle of March.  He was not that young a guy.  Every Single One Of Them said they would do it again in a heart beat and their only regret was not doing it sooner.  Pretty eloquent, huh?

Conversation drifted over many areas from exercise, pain, what meds they were able to stop outright, losing the sleep apnea machines, and of course, our favorite subject...FOOD.  We all share the love of food. It is so reassuring to hear that while you still love food, you get satisfied with so much less.  We were talking about different types of protein and Tony made some comments about the type he uses.  He said that even though he loves junk food as much as everybody else he looks at the fact that our bodies are regenerating cells all the time.  They literally use what we eat to do that.  So we are what we eat...really!! Do you want your body building itself out of junk?

It was a very mixed group of people that had had the sleeve.  Some ate everything right up until the day they had to start their liquid diet (day 3 was the worst) and some lost more than 40 lbs pre-surgery.  They pretty much agreed that you need this time that it takes to get approved for your date to adjust to what you're going to have to do.  And everyone agreed that they knew no matter how much they lost pre-surgery, they would have gained it all back, and then some, if they hadn't been sleeved. They know because they'd done it before...many times...as I know...I've done it before, many times.

There seems to be a 3 year blip where people gain some back.  So the goal is to go a little lower in weight than you might have originally thought so you have a bit of flex in your maintenance stage.  I have that built into my goal already.

Today was a good day...I'm completely hydrated and walked over 8,000 steps.  I know, it's still not the ultimate goal of 10,000 but it is progress...and that's really all we're looking for, isn't it??  Forward progress...little steps...slowly we climb toward our goals...and when we look back...wow!!  Look how far we've come!!  ;)

The scale is didn't move this week, but that's ok...you know why?  I'm getting healthier....and the weight?  Well, it's days are numbered!

Keep moving forward whatever you goals are peeps, and keep smiling.  Thanks for traveling another week with me.  :)

~Mikki

17.75 miles...

From last Monday to yesterday I walked 17.75 miles.  A total of 43, 214 steps.  Not bad since I was on vacation after last Tuesday and we all know I tend not to do as well on vacation! :)  

I am doing better than last vacation tho...working on that water!  Walked 3.25 miles today.  Have I mentioned I love my fitbit?? It makes it more fun (a little bit) to exercise when you can track what you've done so well.

We went to the clam festival and ..... I had a doughboy....BUT! I had some haddock first so I did get protein in and I have to say while I know there probably won't be many doughboys in my future after surgery, it was freaking delicious... I had it custom made extra thin so it would be crunchy...yummmy!!  ;)   The best part? We walked enough around the festival to burn all the calories and I didn't gain any weight from it! ;)

We went to the movies to see "Sex Tape" and you'll be pleased to know that the popcorn tasted like crap...didn't eat much of it at all...and only a sip of the soda...that was yucky too.  The movie was hilarious if you like that kind of slapstick humor.  It really is true that if you stop putting crap into your body it starts wanting good stuff.  I'm still loving the flavored stevia and the sugar-free Hershey's syrup for different flavors in my protein shakes.  It's so good to know that when I'm on the liquid diet I will still have stuff I like the flavor of at least.

Thursday is my last dietitian visit...Monday is the last support group that I NEED to go to for insurance, but I really like them so I might go to more...the only thing left that is mandated is two trainer visits which don't get scheduled until I have a surgery date.  And then...it's just pre-op stuff!!  6 steps left of the 15 I started with, but all dependent now on the insurance approval.  so we wait....

How is your week going??  Sneaking in any treats? Getting your water in?  Are you walking?  Sleeping??  Can't forget to get enough sleep! Your body can't heal and help itself without that! :)  I'm loving the sun! And that helps me hydrate too!   Thanks for hanging in there with me waiting for the insurance approval!
Hang on! It's getting closer! ;)

~Mikki

Danger! Danger! Will Robinson!!

whoa... this whole hydrating thing? Kinda dangerous...all I can say is don't sneeze close to the end of your walk after hydrating all day! Barely made it to the bathroom!!

So today was it! Had the psych eval!  550 true or false questions to start...really don't want to see those little answer circles for a long time to come!  After that was complete I went upstairs to talk with the psychologist.  She was nice. Basically just went over the paperwork I had done online.  Asked me if I had any questions about anything. She did a lot of nodding.  She seemed to agree that I had my expectations where they should be.  Didn't really say a whole lot.  We ended a half hour early.  I don't know if I did the questions faster than most or just talked faster. :)

She said it would be two weeks for them to fax over the results and recommendations to the bariatric center.  From there it gets sent to my insurance along with proof of all my other steps and we wait for approval.  All that I can find on Harvard Pilgrim says that they are great about processing quickly so I hope that is true.  As soon as I have the approval then they set the date for surgery!! How exciting!!

I stayed on plan yesterday when we went out to celebrate our anniversary.  I had water to drink and some baby-back ribs and coleslaw.  No bread and no alcohol.  Not bad.  :)

Oh, did I mention I lost another pound? Down 13 so far.

That is

a bowling ball
a bald eagle
a typical 3 month old baby 
or 4 boxes of wine!!!

That's like 52 sticks of butter!!!


No wonder I can walk a couple miles easier than I could a month ago. :)

Still not dieting! ;)  I do still have to work at the hydrating thing..on going battle I guess.  Oh, just a side note...sugar free Hershey's syrup is great in protein shakes!  :)
Oh Yeah! I tried one of the chew able vitamins too and no nausea!  So here's hoping I can handle those. :)

Thanks for staying with me!

~Mikki

I didn't want to do it...

Today was one of those days.  I just didn't want to.  I had a good day multi-tasking (and by multi-tasking I mean running the dishwasher while I laid in the sun, read and drank my water).  Hey, this is a big improvement over drinking wine.  :)

So, yeah, I did not want to exercise.  The clouds rolled in and it made me not want to even more.  But then I heard Tony's voice in my head (the trainer) saying "if you let a little rain stop you what are you going to do when there is snow on the ground".  UGH!  ok, ok!

I put on some walking clothes ~ yesterday I walked in a sundress and let me tell you chubby thighs do NOT like that!!~ that included shorts and a baseball cap.  As I walk out the door...here come the sprinkles...and they pick up speed...it was like the Fates tempting me (Mikki images the 3 of them passing around their eyeball and taking bets on if I'm turning back). NO! I am not. I am going. And just because I didn't want to I added extra time.  You know what? As soon as I got around the corner, the rain stopped!  It was just testing me!!  HA! Take that you ol' bags!! ;)

Got most of my water in.  How are you doing?? Putting off anything?? hmmmmmm???

It's the beginning of the week! Let's start out strong.  Let's show the Fates we are in charge of what we do! That's right! We do what we want! (Even if we don't really want to...)

Hope you have a good night and a Happy Monday!

~Mikki

just want to share this...

People have asked me what is hardest so far?...For me that is not drinking with my meals...I'm not supposed to for 30 minutes after either (and I'm not so good at that part yet)... and then they want to know... why?  This is by far the best explanation that I have seen.

"This is my understanding how the Pyloric Valve works.

The Pyloric Valve function and how it pertains to your VSG.

The function of your Pyloric valve is the single most not talked about important part of understanding how and when you should eat and drink.

The Pyloric Valve is just that....It is a valve that is located at the bottom of your stomach/sleeve. This valve is in between your sleeve and the lower intestine. The basic definition of a valve is an apparatus that opens and closes.

When open this valve it is about the diameter of a dime. When closed it’s opening is closed down to the diameter of the head of a ballpoint pen.

Dense proteins and harder to digest foods will cause the Pyloric valve to close to hold the food in your stomach for pre-digestion...... stomach acids breaking down this “Rough” food. 

That’s why we are told to eat dense proteins first.....To close the Pyloric Valve so food stays in your stomach/sleeve longer so we have a sense of satisfaction.

It takes about 30-60 minutes for the food to clear the Pyloric Valve...... Than it’s OK to drink.

That is also where the term slider food  comes into play. A slider food does not close the Pyloric Valve and as the term is intended.....food slides right past an open Pyloric Valve.

There is a video that gets posted every so often that is supposed to explain food going past the Pyloric Valve. The guy uses a funnel and has apple sauce or something in it....and it shows the apple sauce dripping out the end of the funnel very slow. Than he pours water on top of the apple sauce to dilute it, illustrating drinking after eating.....and the diluted apple sauce runs through the funnel end faster. Than he concludes that this is how your pyloric valve works.

Well, it is a great video that only tells half the story.....remember it’s a valve...and he is only showing it in the open position....

So now the other half of the Pyloric Valve function..... You eat a dense protein like chicken that causes your Pyloric Valve to close. Say for example your sleeve has a 4oz. capacity.....and you eat 4oz. of chicken.....your sleeve is full and holding all 4 oz. of chicken for pre-digestion because your Pyloric Valve is closed. 

So now try and drink something....where is it gonna go? Up.....Up until it hits another valve of sorts..... the Esophageal Sphincter (valve) and above that is a flapper valve. The function of these two valves is to hold food, bile and stomach acids in your stomach and not backing up into your air way. This is a very high pressure system. Thats why when you eat to much or drink after eating a hard to digest food and your Pyloric is closed.....It hurts cause you pressurized your intake track. Vomiting would be a natural pressure release.

So you can see how learning and understanding how the Pyloric Valve works is important as it pertains to eating and drinking with a Gastric Sleeve.

So that was kinda like VSG and the Pyloric Valve 101

As you get further a long you will want to use the Pyloric Valve in other ways to keep food in your sleeve longer to stay satisfied longer. 

A sleeve empties faster than a stock un altered full size stomach so sometimes it’s beneficial for you to learn what foods stay in your sleeve longer to extend satisfaction.

Dense proteins are #1 in closing the Pyloric Valve. Chicken, steak, pork, fish.....in that order seems to be the way it goes for me.

Other foods that are hard to digest and help close the Pyloric Valve are foods like:

• Broccoli Stalk
• Asparagus
• Celery
• Cucumber with Skin
• Radish
• Cabbage (I’m testing this right now)
• Bell Pepper

So I hope you understand my 5 cent tour of the Pyloric Valve and how it effects the way we eat with a VSG and how important it is to work the Pyloric Valve to your benefit.

frisco"

Doesn't that make it so much easier to understand?? I thought so anyway.  I'm hoping Frisco won't mind I totally have stolen it! ;) 

I forgot to mention when I went to the dietitian last time I asked her about the shots after surgery and she said that unless the person has a condition that requires them it is not standard protocol. YAY!

I have had three separate people  tell me this week that this blog has made an impact for them and helped them to make better choices.... this makes my heart so glad!!   This was the main reason for starting the blog!! ...Also to keep me engaged and motivated...well, guess what??  You guys keep me motivated!!  I love hearing from you that you are taking steps to get happier or healthier!! <3  Keep up the good work you!! 

And thanks for coming with me on this journey! 

~Mikki 

highs and lows...

Yesterday was the 10th...that means it's been a month since I ate potato chips!!! Do I miss them? Of course I do! LOL  But, I don't really crave them at this point like I used to. Yesterday was a struggle to get water in...and I really wanted some wine...my step-dad went in for emergency surgery (he's gonna be ok) and it was a very stressful evening. He came through surgery like a champ!  Almost 2 hours quicker than they thought it would take!  We are very grateful.
I kept to the rule though, you know, the one where if I'm not fully hydrated I don't get to have wine.

Some good news was I did lose another pound so down 11 now.  Very cool considering I haven't cut any portion sizes yet.  I didn't exercise yesterday because I ran out of time with everything going on but I've been averaging over 6400 steps a day even taking that off.

Had some more slightly bad news...they rescheduled my psych eval.  Yep, it's not the 14th anymore. The doctor has been called out of state for a family emergency. Fortunately, they were able to get me back in on the 17th so not a big wait.  I'm a little disappointed but I'm also a huge believer in things happening for a reason.  The appointment on the 14th was for 4pm...I would have had to leave work early and try to drive through traffic to an unfamiliar location...maybe it's a good thing that it got moved. Now it's on a day I have off, at 10:30 in the morning.  This zen attitude would probably not be reflected if they had moved me out a month. :)

Last night was the first time in awhile I ate to over full.  Was that associated with the stress going on or was it just my regular pattern of splurging sometimes? I don't know. I do know that I didn't have wine or any of the doritos that my daughter had hanging around so...small victories, right??  You have to have somethings you can hang onto. For me right now, it's that portion sizes will take care of themselves.  Keeping to the rules when I'm stressed will ultimately help me.  At least that's what I keep telling myself.  :)

When my mom called, crying, my heart about stopped.  It just re-enforced to me that life is too short not to do what you need to do for yourself.  I don't want to look back 10 years from now in a hospital bed saying "I really should have done something about my weight" or " I really should have retired when I said I was going to" or "I really wish we had bought the RV like we talked about".  Life if happening today.  Make your plans and DO IT! Can things go wrong? Of course.  I'm just thinking I don't want my biggest thoughts someday to be "I regret I didn't do that."    There's not time? You're right.  Time is not going to make itself happen for you. You have to put that effort in yourself.  Easy for me to say? No, not really...I have doubts, I get scared, I second guess (well, not that last one so much)...but if you don't try then you really have no one to blame but  yourself, right??  I don't like blaming myself. I'm a self love kind of girl. :)  I mean what's the worst that can happen? I lose all my money and end up drunk in a camper in Mexico?? Hey! At least I'll be skinny! ;)

Follow your dreams people! And tell your loved ones you love them.  We are only here for awhile. We need to take care of ourselves and each other.

This picture was taken a few years ago...when I only had one chin...it is still about 25-30 lb heavier than my ultimate goal.  Can we get this journey moving any faster?? ;)

Thanks for staying with me! 

~Mikki 

fitbit flex...

So as some of you already know, my wonderful hubby bought me a fitbit!!  I'm still learning how to work all the features but so far it's very cool!!

It also syncs with myfitnesspal which is where I log all my food and water! Last night I tried sleep mode. OH MY!  We turned off the light to go to sleep at 11:00pm...and I stopped hitting snooze :) at 4:37am.  5 hours and 37 minutes, right?  Well, here's the thing...according to my little monitor it took me 12 minutes to go to sleep. Times awakened? 39!! So really I only got 3 hours and 48 minutes of actual sleep time.  whoa...no wonder I don't have extra energy!!  Besides carrying around an extra 80-100 lbs I am not getting any uninterrupted sleep!

Besides giving all that info, it does fun stuff like sending me little celebrations when I hit a goal...I got a badge for my first 5000 steps and a happy dance for hitting my goal of 6800 steps yesterday! I know, I know, it's still a long way from 10,000 but it's a lot better than 2,000 where I started! ;) You can also join up with friends to compete and I'm sure all kinds of other things I haven't figured out yet.

One more tool to help with the battle! I might not win every skirmish but you know I'm gonna make a hell of a dent in the war.  :)

How is everyone doing?  I must confess I didn't hit 100 oz of water each day over the long weekend. But I'm back today!!  One week until my psych eval!! woot woot!! 1 WEEK!!   I could know in 3 weeks when my date will be! Can you tell I'm excited? yep yep!

The scale is not really moving...but that means it's not moving up either so I'm ok with that. I moved down another belt hole so progress is happening.  Just a little bit at a time...10 lbs in a month? I'll take it! If I can do that even after surgery I'll consider it good. :)  But really, that's not what is about is it? It's that I can walk two miles without having to stop and pant...it's that I can bend over to tie my shoes without my face turning purple...it's knowing that I don't have to worry about buying even larger clothes....it's knowing that I'll be able to fit into the RV shower! :)  The scale? That's just a number, it's life I'm working on!

Keep up the good work people! I'm so impressed with all of you that have made changes in the last month! I love seeing it (or hearing about it).  ;)

and remember..... SQUEEZE YOUR BUTT!!

Thanks for staying with me!

~Mikki

squeeze your butt!!

Good morning people!! I know, I'm sorry I haven't posted lately.  Not a lot new to report really. So this is just checking in with all of you.

Happy 4th of July! It's a long weekend, and we all know that weekends tend to be harder to get the water in for me...how are you doing??  I'm behind..no shocker there, huh?  I have one in front of me now though so I'm working on it.

I made some protein powder infused pudding this morning.  I read about it. You mix the instant fat-free, sugar free pudding mix with the protein powder first then add the milk to the mix.  I haven't tried it yet, but I'm hoping it will be a yummy way to add protein.  I'm getting plenty right now, but trying to figure out ways to get more once I'm limited on quantity.  Plus the variety of getting some with a treat is a fun thing to look forward to.

I still haven't had any chips. Yes, this is pretty amazing.  Something that has helped is finding Nut-thins. They are nut & rice snacks.  16 crackers are only 130 calories (not that I count calories right now, but for those that do), they are wheat and gluten free and have 2g of protein. It gives me that little bit of crunch without any saturated fat. :)  Yes, I am waiting for 3 Diamond to give me sponsorship money...j/k.

I've been averaging a little over 6000 steps a day.  Not fabulous, but better than sitting on the couch. :)
How are you doing on your walking? or biking? or yoga? or whatever your routine is?   It's funny, for the first time since I started this, I've actually had two people ask me in the last week if I were really sure I wanted to do surgery.  They weren't trying to discourage me...they were honestly asking if I had completely thought through all the possible side effects and really felt there was not an other way?

My answer? Yes. I am sure. I have no doubts.  Is it scary? Sure. Am I researching as much as I can to try and make it as successful as I can? Yes.  I'm sure part of it is that I'm not much of a second guesser. When I make a decision for myself I'm usually pretty set on it.  I don't vacillate a lot. But mostly, it's that I really know I need to do something that will help me make a permanent change.  Diabetes and heart disease run in my family.  It is not a matter of if, but when something weight related is going to take me down if I don't do something.  I've been on the see-saw for the last 27 years.  Time to be good to me.

Do you take time for yourself?  I know it's hard.  We all have so little time. We have constant pulls on it from work, or family, or community.  But it is important to take time for you.  Sleep! Make sure you are getting enough. Breathe! Make sure you have a few minutes to relax your mind and body.  Hydrate! Your body needs water to flush itself and do constant repairs. And try to take a few steps toward some type of exercise. Something to get your blood flowing and your heart pumping.  You'll thank you for it later! :)

Don't forget to squeeze your butt!!

Come on July 14th!   Thanks for reading!
~Mikki

Stop the crunches!!

Yep, you heard me. You can stop them....forever.  That's what I was told last night.  Which would have been great news if they didn't then introduce me to an evil thing called "the plank".

Hi all.  You remember that last night was supposed to be the group meeting "for patients only"? And I was secretly (well, you know, just between you and me) hoping that there was gonna be some deep dark hidden stuff revealed??

I think that was a luring technique.   When I got there....it was a trainer.  Yep.  Not even considered one of my two trainer visits. How's that for sneaking some extra health in on ya??  ;)

So, Tony (the trainer) was the one to tell us that the muscles we help with crunches are only there to keep us from falling over backwards and breaking our spines in half and that there are much better uses of our time. (Yes, Kenny, I know you already told me that)  Crunches were comforting. I knew how to do them. I had really good form.  I knew how much time they took. They were a habit.  Enough whining?  Yeah, I guess so. Anytime something gets comfortable it's time to shake stuff up anyway. Sigh.

Tony tell us there are two major position to all that we do.  The first one, we all guessed, is walking.  Well, actually it was breathing but since that is such a huge subject and involves a lot more than we had time to discuss we skipped that one last night. So yeah walking.  We got pedometers.  So far today I've walked 5115 steps.  Pretty good, huh?? I thought so. Until I googled that anything less than 5000 is considered sedentary. I've barely got that and I did my walk tonight for 20 minutes!!!   And THEN the dietitian said the goal for an ACTIVE person is 10,000!!!  WTF??

Ok, lets move on from walking.  Ahem... so the other most important position? The squat.  He had us practicing them.  No, I did not say air squat.  This was a room full of  fat plump people, remember?? Some of us were lucky to do it with a chair!  Get yourselves under control for God's sake.  Anyway, they say that as long as  you can do a squat the you have the physical capability of living independently.   Don't believe it's that a big a deal?  Try going to the bathroom unassisted at 80 if you can't squat.  Yeah. I thought so.

One of the big benefits is that those of us with "sedentary" office jobs (about all of us there) can do squats in the office.  Don't forget to squeeze your butt! ;)

It was actually a pretty good group.  There was a lady there who had just passed her year anniversary.  She had her bypass on June 3rd last year. She looked FANTASTIC!! Talk about motivation.  She has lost 127 lbs.  We knew she must have been post surgery because she was most definitely not  fat plump!

Today...I had my second visit with Elizabeth.  She went over my food logs. She saw the doughnut.  Did I tell you about the doughnut??  Well, for those of you that don't know, Frosty's bakery just opened in the next town over.  They have the MOST delicious doughnuts ever.  My husband bought me one.  I asked him to so don't judge him.  I am a woman down to two cups a coffee a week.  He usually gives me what I ask for. ;)
I ate chili before the doughnut so I got my protein in.  I won't tell you how many calories were in that doughnut.  I will tell you...it was worth EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! ;)
So, Elizabeth saw the doughnut because I was honest and logged it. Because really, who am I hurting if I am not honest? Only myself.  You know what she said?  My logs looked great! I've been hitting my protein goal for weeks.  I've cut out almost all starches and she could not fault me for an occasional splurge if I was gonna do the work that well.  YAY!  She pointed out that this is life and sometimes you just really want a doughnut.  The work is to figure out if the splurge is worth it.  Some things just aren't.

We talked about how I'm feeling this isn't a diet.  I don't know why but it really makes a difference for me that I'm working toward a goal of preparing for surgery.  Then I'll be getting through surgery.  Then I'll be taking care of the body that went through surgery.  SEE?? NO MORE DIETS!! Is it really that easy? No, probably not.  But most of this battle is mental and this is just my way of using this tool as a weapon.  She was happy with my exercise log too.  She went over all the phases with me and we talked about vitamins.  I was dreading that because they've always made me sick.  We're gonna sample a couple different types but she said there are options and the biggest thing is to be aware of having my blood work done to make sure I'm not getting deficient in anything. We can work out what's best.

Next big step?  The psych test.  Not til July 14th.  She said if the report came back from that before she saw me again they could send right in for approval from insurance.  I could really have a date possibly by the end of August or September!! By next summer I could be half the person I am today!! :)

Quite the ride, huh??  Thanks for coming along with me!

~Mikki

pre-op weight loss...

People have told me (and of course I've read) about people having to lose weight before they can have WLS.  I've read that some people need to lose in order for the liver to shrink and for the doctor to be able to get at the stomach better.  Others have mentioned they knew people that had to lose a certain percentage before their surgeon would operate.

I have not been told I need to lose any before surgery.  However, those sneaky dietitians have their ways.  Giving up bread, chips (sigh) and mixed foods means that I have now lost 9 lbs since I started logging my food.   9 LBS!!!

That's like losing a Labrador puppy! ;)

We went to a baby shower today...I did not eat bread, cake or m&ms...yes, I wanted to.  I walked past the chips.  You people have no idea how much that means.  lol  I found plenty to eat.  I had fun.  This can be done.  Someone even told me my blog motivated them. How cool is that??

One of the biggest reasons that I'm making the choice to have the sleeve done is quality of life.  It is improving already.  I took my son, youngest daughter and two of my grand kids to a wild animal farm yesterday.  It was two hours of continuous walking. If I hadn't started walking for this surgery I know that I would have been out of breath and unable to lift the kids up to see things.  As it was I felt fine!  Of course, last night I was exhausted and slept like the dead... but I didn't have to keep stopping and making the kids wait because I couldn't keep up.

I have 754 days until retirement.  I want to be able to hike and do any activity I want without being afraid of slowing everyone down.  I want to to be able to play with the grand kids and keep up.  ( Well, I want to be able to play without having a heart attack, keeping up might be stretching it)

I want to be able to sit on any chair I want and not think- is this going to hold me? Or worry that I might be squishing the person next to me on the plane.  I want to be able to do yoga and not think - am I going to need a winch to get me up off the floor?   I want to be able to go on family vacations and not have to worry - am I too big for this ride?  But, most of all I want to be healthy.  I want to walk without my back, legs and ankles hurting me.  I want to play without being winded.  I want to be able to have sex in an airplane bathroom... just kidding! Wanted to see if you were still following along...bathrooms on planes are disgusting. :)  But seriously, we all have stuff that happens in life to slow us down.  Being fat  plump is not one I need to keep around.  So it's going down the drain.

Only 78 lbs to go.  :)  Thanks for coming along!

~Mikki 

What was I saying about little steps??

Oh yeah...they lead places.

Yesterday I went down a notch on my belt {{holla!!}}  Today when I stepped on the scale...down 2 more pounds!!  Whoot!

This just proves that even with stress, if I stay strong I can do this.  I didn't want to walk last night but I made myself do it and felt better.

Tonight I was catching up on the bachelorette, so I did my stationary bike.  It's been forever since I've been on that!  The dog was freaking out because he'd never heard it! LOL  It was only 10 minutes, but a strong 10 minutes.  Small steps baby!!

When I went grocery shopping last night it was all about the protein labels...
I think I'm making progress with moving some variety in.  That's important if I'm gonna be able to do this long term, huh?

You know what else?? My husband told me he was proud of me! How sweet is that?? He knows it would have been so easy for me in the past to let stress just give me an excuse.  An excuse to sit on my butt.  An excuse to eat JUNK.

OK - so you want to know what is really, really amazing for me?? its been 8 days since I've even tasted a chip.  I did have a couple on the 10th after eating my pizza toppings at work...but 8 days with no chips?? We're talking big time! HUGE!  I love chips.  We're talking serious romantic affection.  And I love them all...there are very few...like maybe one type that I don't like that much.  Of course, if it was the only one available I'd eat it.  But! NONE for 8 days!!  That's probably that 2lbs right there!  ;)


What else?  Oh yeah, so I've been reading about the issue with hormones.  Apparently when you loose weight really rapidly it gives off a release of strong ones.  People talk about going into complete rages at the grocery store.  Or breaking down and crying over only being able to eat a couple bites of something.  Whoa...People, if I start getting like that, someone reel me in!  I'm sure they have no control and it must be really hard.  Going through menopause is bad enough...I guess it's not really surprising when you think about it...they take away your alcohol, your caffeine, and you can only eat about 8 bites...yikes!!  Better keep up the exercise to wear them off!!

The other thing I've read recently is people talking about needing therapy.  They see this new person in the mirror and start to have all these emotions. Start wondering if the decisions they made in life were what they really wanted or that they made them because they were fat.  Some really deep stuff.  I don't think I will run into as much of this...I wasn't fat  plump growing up and as I've told you before, the image in my head of me is much smaller.  I'm the opposite...I look in the mirror now and say "who the hell is that"??  :)

What are you all doing with your evening?? Are you up to date on your water?  I am! AND I hit my protein goal so I'm gonna make a baked apple with cinnamon and fat free cool whip.  Doesn't that sound yummy?  No?  Well it does to me...LOL

Thanks for coming on the journey!

~Mikki

A very bad day with a better finish

Today started off with an emergency visit to the Vet.  Our cat that had been missing was found but sadly had been hit by a car.  We are very glad he was found and able to spend a night with us eating and being loved but ultimately we had to put him down.

I did not eat well today.

I had no breakfast.  I went into work briefly but could not focus so left after making sure payroll was all set. I had a quick shake toward lunch time.  Then, in the afternoon I had an ice cream with Jas.  Yes, I guess I have some comfort issues with food.  Oh well. It was a bad day.

I laid down and tried to rest. Didn't get much sleep last night.

BUT! Tonight I had decided to go to my first support group. I promised to blog about it... And really, what better time, right?  My son went with me.  It was protein night.  There were a lot of people there! Not an empty seat and only 3 people including Jordan came for support.  ( I know it's kind of sad we need support to go to a support group but that's how we roll.)  :)

We got to try all kinds of proteins.  It was nice to meet some other people who are going through the same stuff.

So rule #1 of Protein - don't smell it.  That's what she said.  It has a strong scent and won't taste good if you smell it first.  The idea is to shoot for products that have at least 20 + grams of protein and 200 or less calories.  If you skew that ratio it's not a good thing.  She told us that after surgery our taste and smell will change dramatically.  Most of the protein products now mix really well.  You can mix them with water, skim to 1.5% milk or almond or soy milk.    She gave us samples of different products and many ideas of how to add flavor to mix things up.  Torani syrups, baker's cocoa, instant decaffeinated coffee... you notice that says decaffeinated.  We learned tonight that anyone having the sleeve or bypass can not have caffeine for at least 3 month after surgery.  Say what???

No wine and now no caffeine??  Jay will be working extra hours for sure. ;)

We also learned that since our capacity will be much smaller, if we are tempted to double up the amount of protein power in the same amount of drink we will regret it.  Our little pouches can only handle so much and the rest the body is going to try and get rid of. Quickly.  By whatever is the quickest exit out of our body.  YUCK!
Also don't try to get a jump on things and make up a bunch of shakes.  Protein products that you mix up are only good for 24 hours.  After that they grow some funky bacteria that will make you sick.  UGH.

Also, you can not use boiling water to make a hot product with the protein powders.  Add a bit of warm water first to make a paste and then you can add the rest of the water a bit warmer.  If you try to use boiling water I guess it makes a solid lumpy mess.  Good to know.
You can take instant sugar free pudding mix, add your powder to it, mix it really well and then add the milk to make a really good protein pudding.  It has to be instant, not the kind you cook. They also make unflavored protein powder and she encouraged us to experiment with that.  You can add it to cottage cheese, chili, or mashed potatoes to increase their protein amount. You can buy a lot of the "New Directions Products" right from them at the bariatric center. And you can order some of the "Nectar" products.  They buy them online and don't charge you for the shipping.

It was a great group of people. Everyone seemed to get involved and speak and ask questions and be in a good space. Even Jordan said it was kind of fun, although he might have just been trying to cheer me up. It was a good pick me up.  When I got home Jordan went on my walk with me.  We talked some so it probably took closer to 15 minutes tonight but it was a good walk.  It helped my mood a lot.

I am still sad and I realize I only got in about half my water today so I need to get working on that.  I hope you had a better day.  Other than the small ice cream I didn't slide into a face full of McDonald's like I would have liked so I guess there is improvement.  I definitely use food for comfort but my family stepped up and made sure I didn't need it today.  Thanks everyone for all your love and support.

I think I might go to next week's support group.  It's for patients only.  I assume that means we're gonna do some deeper discussions.  I think I'd like that.

Thanks for staying with me guys, especially today.  < 3

~Mikki

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's day to all the dads and single moms out there! Hope you're having a great weekend. :)

I'm doing pretty good getting my water in this weekend.  AND I'm doing better at not having bread and mixed foods.  Let me tell you, it's not as much fun eating foods one thing at a time. I'm sure it will get better. I worked on a new recipe tonight. Zucchini Parmesan crisps.  They weren't too bad. :)

I stepped on the scale this morning and I've lost the vacation weight I had regained.  So I'm the lowest since we started this trek in April.

I haven't walked for two days because of the rain (yes, an excuse I agree) but I did walk tonight and got my time down to 11 minutes!!  I impress myself.   LOL  Now, I guess I can move up the distance.  

We have had some stress this week with our cat missing, but we've had a bit of good news that he might have been turned into the humane society!  We can go see if it's him in the morning.  As you all know I tend to gain when under stress so I'm pleased to see I have lost some.

I've been a bit tired...hoping that all this protein will help me with energy soon.

My husband admitted he's a little nervous about my surgery.  Not about me taking this step, he's supportive, but the actual surgery is scary.  Hopefully the kids will be with him when the time comes to keep him calm.  We're trying to figure how I'm gonna sleep when I get home. I do have a wedge my mom gave me when I was having a bronchial issue a couple years ago, but I have read most people need to sleep in a recliner at first.  It's hard to lay down and you can't sleep on your stomach at all.  I guess we'll try it and see how it goes.  He's hoping to take a few days off when the time comes to help me with everything.

It feels like it's been forever since there's been progress...I'm glad the support group is Monday.  I want to feel like steps are still happening.  It makes the waiting easier.  Kind of whiny, huh?  Sorry.  I know it's a process.

People who know I love wine have asked if I will be able to drink it "after".  Yes, eventually I will.  It brings up the topic of alcohol though.  This is not an option for people who are serious drinkers.  You have to be able to give up alcohol for at least 3 months and really limit any consumption after that.  If this is an issue for you then you will have a problem with this surgery. I'm hoping I will still be able to enjoy a half glass a few months down the road.

So, no smoking, no drinking. This is a journey toward health and that means all the way around.  This means so many different things for so many different people.  I hope those reading this can look and see if you are on the road you want to be on.  If not? Take one small step in a new direction.  The whole journey is just made up of little steps.  When we look back 6 months from now, we'll be able to see how amazing all that we've accomplished is. ;)

Thanks for coming along!
~Mikki

Time Passages...

So can you believe it??  It's almost 2 months since this all started!!  I'm making some progress...tonight it took me 18 minutes to walk the same distance that took me 25 minutes last night!  See, progress!!

"I know you're in there, you're just out of sight"

My daughter was telling me about a nice body lotion she found so that I could keep everything all nice.  My elasticity has been pretty good, I'm hoping it hangs in there and shrinks with me. Gross fact I read...as you loose weight that quickly, your skin cells don't have time to shed like they normally would - they build up and cause itching....ewe! I guess I'll need an extra strength loofah!!   The good news will be everything will be easier to reach!  ;)

I'm still reading the forums...the hardest thing for me to get over is how hard people are on themselves...there was a lady who had surgery in March...I can't remember how much she had lost but she was all bummed out that she hadn't lost anything for 3 weeks...but she went from a size 34 pant size to a 20!!  Hello!! That is amazing! How can you be upset with that?  Give yourself a break people!   We need to forgive ourselves.

I'm a big believer in positive power.  Believe in yourself and realize that no one is perfect.  We are all going to make mistakes.  But be honest enough to take a look at them and own it then move to the next step.  No one gets out of this life alive so be good to yourself!

How are you doing on your water today?  I'm doing good!  It's getting easier...of course let's see if I can do that on the weekend.

I'm doing better on my homework.  I have to confess it was harder to get into these rules.  The no "bread or mixed foods" thing is hard.  I find myself already tending to eat Atkins-like already even though I'm still allowed some carbs.  I guess that the idea since eventually that will be my diet.  I'm glad I'm keeping the food diary...it keeps me honest with myself.

So I promised we'd talk about phase 3...2 weeks after surgery (if all goes well) I can move on to soft or pureed protein for 2-4 weeks.

Remember to chew to applesauce like consistency:

• Egg beaters
• Eggs, no more than 1 yolk per day
• Cheese (low fat)
• Veggie cheese (wtf is this?)
• Cottage cheese (low fat)
• Yogurt (light or fat free)
• Skim milk
• Tuna fish - packed in water (as if I'd want anything else)
• Canned chicken
• Fresh white fish- cod, sole, flounder, scallops, imitation crab meat (ewe), shrimp (have I mentioned I'm allergic to shellfish?)
• Legumes- kidney beans, black beans, garbanzos
• Turkey breast or ham
• Tofu, boca burger, soy products (just gross)

Any other proteins must be lean and ground in the blender to baby food consistency.  This is important to avoid blockage that can cause terrible abdominal pains, vomiting or nausea.  No bread, cereal, rice, noodles, fruits or vegetables during this phase.

Sample menu:

Breakfast:  1 or 2 soft boiled eggs or 4-6 ounces of yogurt

snack:  water, crystal light

Lunch:  1/2 cup cottage cheese or 1-2 oz. fish

snack: 4-8 oz protein shake

Dinner:  1-2 oz turkey slices, 1 oz low fat cheese

snack:  4-8 oz protein shake

You'll notice they still include the protein shakes...when you eat so little it's hard to hit your protein goal unless you supplement with them.

I'll have to make sure to get my protein to help promote wound healing and minimize muscle loss.  I won't be enjoying any soy products since I have already entered that merry world of menopause.  :)  

Doesn't really sound that great does it?  I'm sure it will seem like heaven after just having liquids for about a month.  I see other people be much more creative with how they prepare their puree so I'm hoping that I find some blended combos that taste good.  LOL  They say you don't really have much of an appetite anyway, but your head still thinks it wants to taste real food.  AND...you know what isn't on that list? salad.  Not that I never enjoy salad.  Sometimes I even like it...but gone are the days of dieting meaning just salad after salad!!  ( That deserves a happy dance...come on do it with me now! )  

Things are moving along.  Next week the support group and the week after that another NUT(nutrition)  visit and then it'll only be a couple weeks until the psych appointment...things are lined right up...I'm betting the next two months go as fast as the last two (even though I don't want to wish away the summer)!  I'm still excited - and a little bit nervous- I did pretty well at work yesterday.  We had a pizza party and I didn't eat any crust. It wasn't bad...much better than if I couldn't eat any toppings!! ;)

I can do this.  It's a tool.  A tool to help me forever.  I just have to use it and take care of myself.  Easier said than done, right?  Well, just one step at a time.   

Thanks for sharing my voyage.  

~Mikki

too much of a good thing?

I got all my water in today!!  I can always tell because I can barely make the drive home from work without peeing my pants! :)

For those that don't know me, I am a forum girl.  I love forums.  I read travel ones, RV ones, cooking ones (and I don't even really cook)...you get what I mean... so as I mentioned last time I have discovered the OH forum.  I can't leave it alone.  I know the people and their pictures and their stories better than the bachelors on tv.  So you would think after reading all these posts I wouldn't have any more questions.

well, I do!

First off, what the heck are these blood thinning shots people are talking about?? no where in my paper work does it say I will need to give myself shots after...even for a few days...I would notice this!!  And what's this talk of wearing a binder?  Is that so I won't feel like my tummy is falling apart?  How long does that last??  Are they waiting to spring these on me at the last minute?  Because I am not spontaneous about yucky things.  Spontaneity is supposed to be for fun things like jumping in the car and driving to a casino or swerving into Slates bakery because there is a parking space open.  I need to time to adjust to ugly...someone better give me time to plan for that shit.

Whew... went off on a bit of a rant there, sorry.

 The thing I read most often that makes my heart glad is that people say they are so happy they did it and only wish they had done it sooner.  I'm a sooner! ;)

I started walking here at home tonight.  Nothing big, just fifteen minutes around the neighborhood, but hey, it's something.

Have we talked about scars yet?

 

Thankfully I will have the laparoscopic one.  It will mean 7 scars.  Scars are interesting, right?  Don't guys dig scars?  I'm sure Jay will anyway ;) 

I just have to focus on keeping the skin moisturized and healthy.  Hopefully there will be less of it quickly!!

I seem to be rambling tonight so I will end there...we will talk the wonders of pureed food soon I promise! I know you're looking forward to that, right??

Thanks for reading.   ;) 

~Mikki

Sometimes research is scary...

So, I started reading the blog that Elizabeth (the dietitian) had recommended and from there I found a forum that had some great information. obesityhelp.com.

They have a whole section dedicated to people who have had the sleeve.  I was happily reading posts and reeling off stats to Jay about people losing weight so fast...and then I came across someone who was celebrating her 7yr anniversary and someone made a comment about all she had gone through so I (of course) had to look into her back story.  OMG.

She has posted it so I'm going to assume that she doesn't mind people talking about it.  She had her surgery in Canada.  She had to argue a bit with her doctor it sounds like to get the surgery done.  His stats at that time were 3700/3.  By that I mean he'd done the surgery 3700 times and had 3 fatalities.

Let that sink in for a moment.

This lady who was super morbidly obese felt like she was already dying.   She had many, many health issues.  She underwent the surgery...and her stomach didn't feel too bad but her shoulder was killing her.  That's not surprising since the gas they pump in to blow your stomach up while they work on it often travels up to the shoulders.  Well, she was still having pain 8 weeks later. Kept being told it was the gas.  Then that she had pancreatitis, then pneumonia before they realized the had a pulmonary embolism.   She developed 2 abscesses on her staple line that they tried to repair, then she developed another 1...she ended up having the sleeve completely redone.  She started in June and ended up actually starting her recovery in December.
OMG.

I know that this is a serious surgery. Really, I do. But wow that brings it to another level.
I am so grateful to know that my doctor has a fantastic record. No fatalities.  I am so grateful that I am having this surgery before I have any major health issues.  I am so grateful that I have so much support from people that love me.

The really good things I read are that people do lose weight.  I mean like 30-40 lbs in two to three months lose weight! I read things I know will apply to me...like how the nausea made one woman dry heave so much after the surgery she pee'd the bed 3x (lol), and that by two weeks out you are so happy to see pureed food just to taste something different than the liquid diet.  I am a little concerned about how most of these people seemed to have taken a lot of time off from work.  Maybe their health issues made their schedules different anyhow?  But I'm hoping to work this around vacation time.  Fortunately I don't have to do a lot of physical activity at my job, but sitting up straight can be tough and I won't be lifting any computers and moving them around for a bit after :)

so speaking of pureed foods, this is what phase two will look like typically: (you can see why I'll be happy to get to pureed food)

you get to go off clear liquids and have this for two weeks-

Breakfast: 4 - 8 oz protein shake
mid morning:  1cup sugar free flavored water
Lunch:   4 -8 oz protein shake
mid afternoon:  1 cup broth
Dinner:  4 - 9 oz protein shake
Evening:  1/2 sugar free jell-o and 1/2 cup water

plus you start vitamins at this stage.  Doesn't that sound yummy?  ;)

This is also pretty much the two week pre-op diet,  so for about 5 weeks it's this and clear liquids...yeah, I'm hoping its closer to 40 lbs  LOL

Other than shoulder pain the only thing that stood out to me from most peoples' comments about the surgery was that if they were alone they were surprised by how lonely they were. Can I say again how thankful I am to have people that love me supportive in this?

I know it will be worth it.  My first support group will be on the 16th...it's called "protein night" so sounds like a good one to join.

How are you doing on your water?  I'm only through 3 bottles today...I'm telling you...weekends are tougher, but I just have to focus.

Thanks for staying with me!
~Mikki

whoa...vacation is bad news! but oh so fun! ;)

Hi! Did you miss me? Sorry for the break.  The laptop we took on vacation with us is barely breathing and I didn't take the time to blog.

I went in to vacation having lost 5lbs since this all started.  Well, good thing! I gained back 3.5! Yikes! That was easy.

I found vacation brought out good and bad behavior...first the bad...

1. I did not get all my water in.
2. I did get more alcohol in. ;)
3. I did not do my crunches.
4. Portions at restaurants are huge!
5. Apparently laying in the sun does not burn calories.
6. I did not eat breakfast most days.

now, I'm proud to say there was some good...

1. I focused on chewing and eating slow.
2. because I ate slower I left food on my plate.
3. I walked every day.
4. I did not stress about anything for several days (then the cat got an abscess and we had to have our daughters deal with that and the vet, so there was a little)
5. I had some really good food... well I guess that could go under bad as well...
6. I did limit my coffee intake to one a day.

One of the best things?  I got the call to schedule my psych eval!  It's July 14th after work.  Seems so far away I know, but time will go by fast I'm sure.  The "paperwork" online to fill out was crazy.  Took me almost an hour.  They really want to make sure I understand what I'm signing up for I guess.

Now that we're back, what have I done?  Ok, I'm back to the crunches (ouch! should not have taken a week off) and I've started protein shakes.  Just for breakfast.  8 ounces of coconut almond milk, 2 scoops of powder and a pinch of nuts and coconut flakes and 5 or 6 ice cubes.  I love, love, love my ninja that I can mix it up in (20-30 seconds).  It holds me about 5 hours...but then, I am STARVING!

So, vacation life has shown me that I really need to get into good patterns before we retire in two years.  Taking a day to splurge is one thing...a week is something else!

Thank you for taking the time to read and support me.  I can not tell you how much all the wonderful comments have meant to me.  :)

~Mikki

protein...it's the word of the day!

My first visit to the dietitian went well.  Her name is Elizabeth.  We talked about all the stuff I've talked to you guys about! :)

She agrees the sleeve seems to be the best choice for me too.

I've lost 3lbs...so another 4 sticks of butter :)

Still not dieting... YAY!  

So what's new you ask?  Well I now have a defined protein goal.  I should be reaching at least 60g a day.  It's ok to get more...well maybe not over a 100 grams consistently, but between 60 and 85 is fine.  Protein is what feeds our muscles and if we don't get enough even if we are losing weight, we are losing muscle as well as fat and then when we gain again (because, you know, we always do) the fat goes on easier and comes off harder...and it gets progressively worse each time.  This is why obesity is a chronic condition.

I also have more homework.  I turned in my food logs...and believe me there was nothing really "diet" like about them.  But I did get my goal of protein almost every day.  Now I have to focus on eating the right cycle of foods.  No more bread or complex foods (casseroles, shepherd's pie, chop-suey, yeah the good stuff) and start to eat the protein first, then the veggie and last the starch.  She doesn't care about what I eat for portions right now because that will take care of itself after the surgery.  It's more important to eat slowly and chew each bite down to sauce.  Not to drink for up to an hour after I eat. And get used to the cycle.  I also need to incorporate another day of exercise in...gotta get that figured into my weekend somehow!  All the studies show that people who started a routine (doesn't matter what kind) before the surgery, do better after the surgery.  And I want to do better.

She gave me the name of a blog to read "The world according to Egg Face".  It has recipes too!

Now to start attending some support groups.  She said they are like anything that is people based...they are as good as the people who are there.

BUT first! We're off on vacation...I'll try to blog about my choices while in Florida... I already know I will more than likely have more wine than usual and have to work at drinking my water but vacation is always a challenge.  I'm just grateful that Elizabeth said I didn't have to watch my portions right before we leave!! ;)

rainy days and Mondays...and a little anesthesia

Today was my scope.  It was at 2;00 pm.  that meant I could have a breakfast of clear fluids...do I need to repeat the clear fluid list?

ok

Water, broths, Jell-o, clear juice, black tea, black coffee, flavored ice and gatgorade.

My awesome husband made me some jell-o last night so I could have that for breakfast.  Then I did have a couple of cups of tea because I always drink that black.  By 10:00am all I could have were occasional sips of water.

By noon - my stomach was GRUMBLING!

Jay drove me to the hospital and we got there a few minutes early.  Got all checked in - the first question they ask? Do I have a living will?  Uhm, you people are giving me a complex! So, we hung out for a few minutes.  The nurse called my name and Alana and Jordan (two of my children) came screeching through the door to give me a hug before I went in.

This is nice.  It's only 1:45 and I'm in the room going over my med history. Great maybe we'll be done early!  ha ha ha

Things are moving a long fine.  I get undressed from the waist up  (they let me keep the bra on) and put on the little johny thingy.  I kept my shoes on because I didn't know if I'd be able to tie them when I got up. ;)  They come in and have me lay down.  Hook a blood pressure cuff up to me and attempt to put in an IV in my hand.. (1)  Well that didn't work, it started swelling things.  So they moved to the inside of my other forearm (2). That started to swell also.  They decided to call someone else to try. So a different person came in and went back to the inside of the wrist on my first arm (3).  Nope.  And that one really stung.  They have paged the gal that they say is awesome at it, but she is with a patient on the phone.

In the meantime, by blood pressure cuff has gone off and they are having some concerns... 80/50 does seem a bit low especially since I've been stuck multiple times.  * Dr. Coleman wonders in  in the middle of all this and then wonders out again.  * They switch the blood pressure cuff to the other side.  I want to say these nurses were actually great.  Everyone kept their sense of humor and they really felt bad it was not working.  I'm sure being dehydrated from not drinking much all morning didn't help. So finally, Julie (the wonder girl) comes and looks things over and decides to try  the inside of my elbow on the second arm (4).

I could tell right away she nailed it. :)  It just felt better.  So my blood pressure is now reading 116/53 so they are happier about that and they have the IV wide open so we just have to have the doctor come in and go over risks so I can sign off and start, right?  Well,  all this misadventure has lasted about a half hour so we are now at about 2:20pm...guess what?  Dr. Coleman's 2:30 was early too and apparently didn't give them so much of a hard time so he moved on to them while he waited for them to get me going.  So now we wait.

I wish I had brought my nook in, but I left it out with Jay.  It wasn't bad, the nurses kept up a good conversation for the most part.and the Dr finally made it into the room about 2:45 pm.  He made joke about the meds in the IV going right back out all the holes in my arms.  oh aren't we a lively group? ;)

He goes over everything. Talks about what he is going to do and the fact that the most significant thing he is doing is looking for some nasty bacteria that once they operate on my stomach would be very hard to get to so they want to make sure its not there before they start.  I'm cool with that.  They have these really nice screens and I'm determined that I'm gonna stay coherent enough to watch...how cool, right?

Well they turn me over onto my left side, get my comfortable, put a bib under chin for drool  . Did I mention they gave me a warm blanket? oh so comfy. They explain the bite block and start putting the meds into the IV.  I remember the Dr. putting in the bite block...well I remember the start of that...him asking me to lift my head for the the strap that goes around...and then I remember the nurse touching me on my shoulder that they were moving my bed out to the recovery area.  Talk about weird  I didn't feel tired.  I did feel VERY relaxed. They moved me out and brought the family in. And I got COFFEE AND PEANUT BUTTER CRACKERS!  They may have been the best ones I've ever eaten. :)

So.  I literally have no memory of the scope.  My throat is not really sore.  My arms are however.  I was discharged pretty quickly since I kept the coffee down fine.  I really wanted some haddock chowder so my wonderful husband drove me around to two different places to find some.  YUM.

The biopsy should be back in a couple of weeks to let me know if there were any problems with bacteria.  He said everything else looked great to proceed.  YAY!!  I hope my actually surgery goes this well...besides all the punctures of course...another exciting step out of the way.

Now.... I have a ton of catching up to do with my water...how about you?  Got yours in today??

First dietitian appointment coming up on Thursday!  We're really moving along.  :)  Thanks so much for staying with me.

~Mikki

Choices...and SCOPE!

The information I got at the consult mentions in several places that the choice to be successful is up to you.  The surgery is not going to do it all for you.  If you continue to eat the worst food, to eat more than you comfortably can, to not exercise you are probably not going to be as successful.  And, you might make yourself miserable in the process.

I've started my homework.  Yesterday I did a full daily intake log.  I am pleased to note that it does not include (at this time) a calorie count.  It does count grams of protein and amounts of calcium, iron, b complex, and if you're taking a multivitamin.  It also counts water intake and physical activity. It gives a reminder to get enough sleep and another area to work on protein.

So, although it may not be counting calories, writing down everything you put in your mouth does make you think about it!  And my first day - being able to eat as much I can - I still only managed 52g of protein.  uhm, not good.  I can see why they have you start working on this early.

Also, have you ever tried to chew every bite to the consistency of applesauce?  Yeah, that's not so easy either.  I am trying. And there is no way that I have taken 30 minutes to eat a meal in years.  Wow.  No wonder I can eat so much, I must eat like a Hoover...

The no soda thing is no biggy...I rarely drink soda.  But keeping it to 3 meals with no in-between is harder.  Especially in the morning.  I have been eating breakfast lately.  I didn't for years but I'm trying to be smarter about that.  But I have a time crunch.  I need to be at work and ready to go into morning meeting by 6:40am. I get up about 4:40am to make this happen.  That gives me time to do my crunches and all the other stuff (if the dogs don't putter too much) and get there.  But taking 30 minutes and eating enough to sustain me until noon is another matter.  I'm going to have to work on that.

While I was working on all my first day stuff...I got a call....from the hospital scheduler....MY SCOPE IS SCHEDULED FOR MONDAY!  woot! And we're off to a fast start!  It will be good to know that there's nothing going on that could mess this up.

Next week is a busy one!  My scope on Monday, meet with the dietitian on Thursday and start vacation Thursday night!

So while this journey is full of choices I am choosing to move forward.  I am choosing that while most of this is not easy, it is worthwhile.  I am choosing to change my relationship with food in a most permanent way.  You may not need to do such drastic changes, and certainly you may not need to address an issue with food...but are there better choices you could make in your life?  Is there drama that you could walk away from?  Are you getting enough rest to allow your mind to regenerate and lose some stress?  Are you choosing to spend time with your family and loved ones over letting work take over your life?

I hope that you do look at things a little different and choose to make choices that make you happy.  We are only here for a little while so we might as well enjoy it!! :)

~Mikki